Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Flowers for Jana

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar teach their children to constantly look for opportunities to build others up and express gratefulness. One of the ways they model this is by striving to praise their children ten times more than they correct them.

If you have been a long-time viewer of the show, you have probably seen many examples of the Duggars blessing others. Sixteen-year-old Jason Duggar recently surprised his oldest sister, 27-year-old Jana Duggar, with a bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt note. Do you have any suggestions of small ways to show kindness to those around you?


Photo courtesy duggarfamily.com

116 comments:

  1. Take donations and collect things like peanut butter, towels, blankets, toys appropriate for dogs and cats and go to your local SPCA and donate these to them. I know at our SPCA peanut butter (any brand) is used to put into KONG toys to give them enrichment items to keep them from getting bored. Old towels and blankets they use in the pens on the floors or crates for them to sleep on. We are always in need of that here at our SPCA were I volunteer.

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  2. Most girls her age (and younger) get flowers from a boyfriend, not a brother.

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    1. Well, what's wrong with her brother doing this act of kindness?

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    2. I was 35 yrs old when I was married. I did not go from one boyfriend to another but waited for the right man to come along. So I received flowers from aunts and even an elderly man who was a patient (I work in health care). Funny how people criticise Joy for being too young to get married and Jana for being too old and should be married. There is no magic age. Patience and knowing yourself and what you want in life will result in a marriage at the appropriate time.

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    3. There are lots of brothers out there who give their sisters flowers. It's a sweet act of kindness.

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    4. I've gotten flowers before from both a brother and a boyfriend and trust me it's a lot more special when they come from a brother. A love between siblings is special.

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    5. You just had to be snotty didn't you? You should be ashamed.

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    6. There is nothing nicer as a young woman seeking to keep her heart for mr.right as opposed to lots of mr. Don't deserve you than to receive such love from ones brothers/dad. I remember before I let my now husband how much I loved a compliment from my little brother and how sweet I found his gifts, I still do, it's a crown of happiness to be loved like this 😊

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    7. and most people would be happy for her that she has a loving, caring, sweet brother who would think of his sister..I have given my sister flowers before and I am her sister...it is what loving family members do, those who have been taught to love one another in the way we should...

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    8. But boyfriends come and go in life, family will always be by your side. Family is what matters most!

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    9. So it's nice that she gets them from her brother!

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    10. I wish one of my brothers were this thoughful!

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    11. No, 7:51, at some point that "boyfriend" might very well become "family," and become your first priority. And "family" can betray you just as badly as any boyfriend, if not worse.

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    12. 7:17 aka Negative Nancy - Wouldn't it be nice if more brothers bought their sisters flowers??????

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    13. Anon 7:17...Yeah maybe most girls get flowers from others...but how special it is to recieve such a gift from a brother, how sweet is that...someone seems a little jealous/envious...ya think? I would❤to get flowers from my brother😉

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    14. I think it is very sweet. I don't see a problem with a brother giving flowers to his sister. Jana is a beautiful young lady that gives so much of her time to her family. I just wish she was able to be on her own and pursue a career.

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    15. My brother once sent me a small globe with a note that said "since I can't give you the world". He passed away 20 years ago. I love that they've taught their children to care for each other!

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    16. You don't get flowers from family members? Wow.... how sad.

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    17. Some of us don't need flowers from our brothers or other family members.

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    18. for me,

      It depends on the type of flower.

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    19. My brother would send me and my sister flowers long after he got married and we all grew up (I'm 28, sister 29, he is 35). up until this year, when I told him that my husband spoils me enough with flowers and he should save that money for his own family.. my sister was a bit sad, since he stopped sending her flowers too and her boyfriend is not into flowers :(

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  3. I think that is very sweet of Jason! What I started to do is make home cooked meals for my husband and son. That may sound odd but i grew up in a home where home cooked​ meals were rare. My husband likes cooking and so he's done it many a time but once I started practicing it and getting confident, it's become just about an every night​adventure :). I will sometimes surprise him and my son by baking a dessert or making a favorite meal.

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  4. Aww, that was really sweet of him! I'm sure Jana loved them.

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  5. What a sweet, thoughtful gesture from a brother to his big sister. I am impressed! We need more kindness in this world. Well done, Jason, and well deserved, Jana. :)
    —AFT

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  6. That's a lovely idea!

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  7. Tell them you love them and appreciate all the things they have done for you. Jason is a sweetheart to give Jana a bouquet of flowers. What a thoughtful young man. Love when siblings a close and loving toward each
    other.
    Joan,Marion and Marilyn

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  8. That is so sweet for a brother to honor his sister. Kindness goes a long way!!

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  9. how sweet! i'm sure they put a smile on her face! what seems like a 'little' act of kindness can go a long way so i try to treat everyone the way i want to be treated: with respect, common courtesy & kindness.

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  10. That's so sweet!

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  11. That was a tricky title, meant to lead the reader into thinking a "suitor" gave her the flowers. However, I think this is a clever foil...I think she has a suitor, under wraps (hence the Valentines flowers)....but will come out probably after Joy's wedding...just a guess. :-)

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    1. Exactly my thought !!!

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    2. There was nothing tricky about it............ o_O

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  12. That is so sweet! Way to go Jason.

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  13. That was so nice of Jason to give Jana flowers.

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  14. Anyone recognize that fabric or upholstery in the background? Or that piece of furniture? Wonder where that picture was taken.

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    1. It's in the girls room. They redecorated it a while ago. :)

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    2. Have no idea. Doesn't really matter to be honest.

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    3. Maybe girls room window drapers?

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  15. One way I like to show kindness to others is to help them feel better when they're feeling down.

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    1. Hi SuperJames! Wondered where you've been! Have not noticed your comments for a while!

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    2. You said yourself you've been feeling down, so do you help yourself?

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    3. same here @ anon 7:57
      Glad you back :-)

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    4. Let's just say that after not watching the Season that took place between the last two Season 2 episodes and Joystin; I kind of lost interest in them...(predominately someone in particular)
      But now after seeing this lovely post, I just had to resume commenting.

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    5. Yes, people were worried about you Super James.

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    6. Same ! Glad to see you back :)

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    7. Anon. 9:46 - Why, thank you. I'm glad to be commenting again on the Duggar Blog after quite some time.

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    8. I think you do a great job!

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    9. Yes, Super James people have been worried about you.

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    10. Anon. 7:57 - Why, thank you very much.
      Anon. 12:59 - Really? How exactly have they been worried about me?

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    11. Anon 9:55 - Sorry for not replying sooner. TBH, I can't actually do the same for myself due to the fact that I'm afraid I'll become prideful if I start to "pat myself on the back".

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  16. How sweet and what a great ideal! Typical of the wonderful Duggars - Jana is such a beautiful young lady inside and out. It is going to be very interesting to watch what God has in store for her. Also Jason is a sweetie to give his sister flowers just because.

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  17. I like this topic of showing kindness. One can bring a meal to mom and dad who just had a baby. Other ways to show kindness is offer to do housework for the sick or elderly, be a good listener for a friend or family member going through a rough time. If the person you are ministering to is a Christian you can offer to pray with them. Leave a care package on a friend or family member's door step anonymously, send thinking of you cards, invite a new neighbor over for tea, reach out to readers on this blog who have shared hardships,those are a few that I can think of. I can't wait to read your other readers suggestions

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  18. I think that was very thoughtful for a brother to give his sister flowers.

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  19. It has become blatantly obvious how hard The Duggars are trying to prove Jana is not "Cinderella Duggar". It's nice they recognize her, but still, flowers from a 16 year old brother when you are 27 has a hint of melancholy to it. It's difficult to comprehend why Jana has not married yet as this is the highest calling for women in their ideology. I'm not criticizing that. I personally believe at 27 Jana should be on her own, working, dating etc. but that's just my opinion, which ultimately means nothing to anyone but me! Since that is not Jana or her family's philosophy then I would think someone as outwardly and inwardly as pretty as Jana would certainly have a myriad of suitors. I understand not "settling" but their is also no such person as Prince Charming.

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    1. Similar thoughts as the person above who said that the flowers should have come from a boyfriend, but that person got called all sorts of names for voicing that opinion!

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    2. I agree. I think it's great Jason did that and frankly about time that Jana get the credit she is due (they have said she's basically in charge), but there is something rather sad about it. I think part of that is that she does soooo much for others that these small things just seem...small. It seems like she does almost nothing for herself. It's one thing to be selfless, it's another to deny yourself choices in life in order to serve others. That's not what Christ wants from us.

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    3. I agree. They look at public opinion and do damage control. Not that flowers of thanks are not lovely but I suspect this is related to observations by many that the boys do nothing domestic while poor Jana seems to be running a bed and breakfast 24/7. So a token 'Thank you'. As for not being married at 27 - in the broader world 27 is still young. Too bad so many see it as some kind of blemish on her.

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    4. To marry or not to marry that is the question? Of course she's probably had lots of people pursuing her. Its ultimately up to her whom she chooses to spend the rest of her life with...and that my friend is not a decision to be made lightly. PLUS she does have her own business! Kinda gives you a whole new perspective on the Duggars now doesn't it.

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    5. What is her "own" business?

      And who has pursued her?

      You seem to know a lot about these people so please elaborate. Until then, we can't change our perspective if it's only speculation.

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    6. It's not difficult at all because she clearly stated on one episode that she isn't going to court the first man that comes along.

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  20. Jana must be happy she almost has her own room.

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    1. What a way to get that, though.

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    2. "Almost" being the operative word there.

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  21. It would be sweeter if we weren't seeing it now as an advertisement for the family and how sweet they are.

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    1. It is an example and a reminder to be nice to others. Your cynicism is sad.

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    2. It would also be sweeter if those young men took up the slack at home and didn't make the girls do all the work. Their talking head interviews about this subject on the show make me wince. A vase of flowers wither and die, but real efforts are lasting.

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    3. Actually, I saw it as a chance for the readers of this blog to calmly share ideas on how to show kindness to others.

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    4. I have to agree with you anonymous @ 7:30 am 3/23! While it is nice to watch the duggars for the realatively clean cut show that it is, sweet moments like these do not and should not be on display for the world to see all the time ! This is where I feel that the family is trying too hard and in little ways succumbing to the fame. I do miss the way that the family used to be more humble by outward appearances! Appearances have become publicity stunts and some quiet family moments especially sweet ones like this should be off of the camera. Obviously I am a big fan of Jana as she comes across as a very genuine individual whom I wish the best of life to her! If she is blessed to find a man that is her equal, I think we would all agree that her wedding would really be a wonderful thing to observe! Duggar family please save quiet moments for memories to be made off of the camera! The more fame you seek, the more that the world will own you! P.s. I really miss the buy used and save the difference days!

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    5. They have put numerous private moments out there for the world to see. Yes, this should be a private moment with her brother/family. It cheapens it by sharing it with the whole world.

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  22. Paying for their gas or their meal at a restaurant, anonymously.

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    1. Oh my goodness 8:01am that happened to us one time. Our family had gone to lunch one day and when we were done, our waitress said our meal had been paid for! What a blessing that was for us!

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    2. Was your family doing something that made you appear needy? I'd be embarrassed if someone did this to me, and refuse to accept it.

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    3. Regina, why did you take it and not pass it on to someone who might have needed it more? I have a hard time accepting charitable works, because I know there are others in worse circumstances and I want to see them have that help instead of me.

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    4. Anon 1:27 how do you know Regina didn't pass it on?? I'm sorry, but I think you're being judgemental. Sometimes God lays it on someone's heart to bless another person for whatever reason. We should never deny people the blessings of giving.

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    5. That's really neat, Regina! We've had that happen to us, too. Believe it or not, 9:54, there are people out there who just want to do something kind for someone else, even if they don't "appear needy." And, 1:27, why rush to judge Regina? She said it was a blessing. We were definitely blessed when someone did the same for us, and we received it with thankful hearts. Could we have afforded the meal? Yes, or we wouldn't have been at the restaurant. I find it unfortunate that both commenters only rushed to judge Regina for being the recipient of someone's kindness.

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    6. 9:54 and 1:27 We weren't doing anything that made someone wanted to pay our meal. The restaurant was crowded so perhaps someone from church was there. It was over 20 years ago. I've learned from older, wiser Christian ladies, not to rob someone of wanting to provide a blessing. To refuse would have been prideful on our part.

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    7. Would you then have refused that Jesus wash your feet? It was an act of humility and love that He did and He told Peter that whoever refused His washing of their feet would have no part with Him.
      When people do this our pride (SIN) gets in our way of humbly accepting it. Yes, you should accept it. You should NOT refuse it!!! But if you are at all able, you should be inspired by this act of love and then show love to someone else. Even if you don't have money, saying an encouraging word to a busy mom in the grocery store is quite a
      blessing! (I know from experience)
      It is more blessed to give than to receive, but we ought to allow others to be blessed by not refusing their love and gifts to us!

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  23. Doing the right thing and acts of kindness are more meaningful when they are done when no one else is watching.

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    1. I doubt her brother did this and then said, "but make sure you post it on Facebook!".

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    2. He might not have, but the parents or the publicists or both of those sure wanted to for some reason.

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    3. Actually, Jana herself was the one who posted it on Facebook.

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  24. Thank you Lille and Ellie Jim Bob and Michelle for this wonderful reminder of praising our children too! Love this family and their service to the Lord!

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  25. AWWWWWWWWWW! Jason that is so,so, so, sweet!

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  26. Any brother who can figure out how to give his sister flowers can also figure out how to do his own laundry. That would also be an act of kindness for her.

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    1. Agreed! Clearly Jana's love language is Acts of Service, so family members doing her chores would be a great sacrifice and act of love for her. She really does carry a lot of responsibility in the family and the boys' interview (re: doing their own laundry, etc.) was deplorable. Doesn't JimBob know that surprising his wife by helping her with "her responsibilities" is an excellent way to show his love and care for her, to honor her? My sister-in-law has been careful and thoughtful to instill this in her boys. Their wives are going to be seriously blessed! Those boys can cook and bake, clean a house, wash dishes, do laundry & iron, grocery shop, shop for & wrap gifts, cut trees/split & stack wood, keep a fire going, repair cars, do all the "outside" work, change diapers/feed/entertain babies and toddlers, know first aid & CPR, grow their garden, hunt & fish, and have financial management skills to boot. Many well-seasoned marriage counselors (Christian and otherwise) teach the axiom- "If you meet her needs, you won't have any trouble with her meeting yours.".

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  27. The Duggars are known to be..ahem...a bit "shady" to keep ratings going. All this attention on Jana lately leaves me to think:
    A: Jana is in fact getting ready to announce a courtship
    B: They are being pro-active ( look how nice we are!) diverting the negative attention that will surely ensue with Josh's upcoming court case
    C: Jana really does not have an interest in courting or marrying so they are going the extra mile to make feel special
    Time will tell.

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  28. That's really nice, sweet gesture. :)

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  29. What aa sweet gesture! I believe in small acts of kindness. Whether it's a brother or suitor flowers are always a nice touch when you want to show appreciation. Jana will one day be married.







    I wonder how Josh's lawsuit will turn out? Will he ever apologize face to face or will he keep hiding behind his sisters, parents and wife? There is a reason property and assets are in everyone's name except Josh's. Do you really think Jana bought a building? That the houses josh owned were all of a sudden bought and placed in another family member or close friends name. JB is hiding all of Josh's assets and property to keep him from losing it all during the multiple law suits that are headed Josh's way. Love your children but they need to own up to thier own choices in life. Josh commuted multiple crimes and felonies and hasn't had a single ounce of legal reprocussions. None!! I thought the Duggers believed in obeying the Bible. What about the part of scriptures that say follow the law of the land!?? I guess the duggars think they are above the law and that they can get away with crimes and felonies if they just ask god to forgive them. I believe god forgives. God forgave josh and all the horrible vile things he did. BUT he needs to pay the price for his behavior, he needs to own his choices in this life and face the consequences of the LAW!!! Wonder how the duggars will spin this in the media? Will josh be the victim here?smh

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  30. To everyone saying Jana should be courting or married already, I find this rude and rather offensive. I am getting married this summer at the age of 29. There is nothing wrong with me - in fact I thank the Lord (and my parents) for blessing my siblings and I with great genes. I just happened to be waiting for the right man, and had to deal with a failed relationship at 24 that was difficult to get over. Many young men approached me or my father over the years but it never felt right in my heart until I met my fiance through family friends. I'm so glad I waited because we are like two peas in a pod and madly in love. Would I have preferred to meet him 10 years ago? Absolutely! But life doesn't always go the way we want.

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  31. What a beautiful bouquet and a kind gesture.

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  32. That is so freaking cute of Jason. He seems like such a great, loving person. I love this family.
    Holly

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  33. That is an incredibly sweet thing for a teen-aged brother to do for his sister! Good practice for him in showing thoughtfulness, and I'm sure it was a nice encouragement for Jana.

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  34. It's interesting... some of the kindest people I've known were never demonstrative by sending flowers or other gifts. I think of my dad, who without fail would quietly check the tires and oil level in my car whenever I was about to leave after a visit. He did that for everyone, not just his kids. No one ever asked him, he just did it. There were so many other ways he showed his love and affection. I remember the tender care he gave my grandmother before she died. Dad had the capacity to let us all know how much he cared and he seemed to do it effortlessly, without any expectation of recognition. I'm lucky to have married a man very much like him.

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    1. Agreed, 1:42. Anyone can go to the grocery store and buy flowers and think they're done with it. It takes something special to do more, to do it quietly, and to do it every day.

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    2. Anonymous #1- Thank you for sharing. I'm gald you had a Dad that poured into you. :) You were so blessed indeed to have such a Dad! God bless your husband immeasurably for the love and care he shows to all who are yours. You must be very special too or he would not have chosen you above all others.

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  35. I lost one of my four children, a son, to suicide five years ago. Because he was a police officer, several times I've been able to pay for an officer's meal when they have been in line behind me. I don't have much money to spare but I'll continue doing this as long as I live.

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    1. That is very thoughtful. Considering what officers have to deal with every day, I certainly appreciate them. I'm so sorry to hear about your son :(

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    2. That is a very nice thing to do. Somebody once paid for my husband's and daughters meal when he was wearing his military uniform. We were in the process of moving, so that made it all the more special:-)

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    3. Anonymus #1- I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful way to honor your son! Our family has chosen to make it a priority to thank police officers when we see them (military members and Veterans as well) because we could not do their jobs, handle the situations they have to handle, and deal with what they have to deal with. Our officers put their lives on the line with each traffic stop and 911 call. Our veterans and military members have made major sacrifices so we sleep peacefully each night and aren't living in a war zone 24/7. Our family will practice being grateful and thankful.

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  36. Jason,how thoughtful. You will be a great catch for some girl some day.

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  37. What a loving thing her brother did! She is blessed.

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  38. Very kind of him, especially with her enjoying gardening so much. I wonder if he picked them from her garden..Lol little brothers do such things but still very sweet.
    I enjoy baking for the fire stations and bringing meals during ice storms. I pay the bill of the people behind me in the drive through.
    When I hear of someone having a child that needs support I put a basket of supplies and clothing together and drop it off or pass it on to be delivered.
    Clearing a driveway of snow when no one is looking..
    Dropping off frozen meat I won't be preparing someone needs but would never ask for.
    I think what matters most is sharing your skills and talents to help others. Value what you have and take time to actually share. It's contagious and that's the part that's rewarding....

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  39. Don't worry. Everything is fine in Jana's life. She has flowers.

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  40. This picture really is a "See, Jana is loved" kind of public statement by the family.

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  41. Wish they had shown what he wrote.

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  42. Beautiful! Such a kind sentiment.

    Sometimes lending someone an ear and words of encouragement when they are in need goes just as far as a gift.

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  43. To those of you who think that this is "weird" that Jana's brother loves her this much and acknowledges how special she is to him, I personally think that is a beautiful gift from a sibling. My own brother hates me, he told me that in his own words and says he has hated me since he was old enough to know what hate is. We were both raised by the same parents in a Christian environment, just like the Duggar children. There are only the two of us as siblings and I feel like I have lost him forever. We have not spoken in nearly 10 years. I think Jana is very blessed to have a brother who thinks so highly of her and lets her know it. I can only wish that someday my brother will change his attitude towards me. I have no idea what I have done to him to make him hate me so, except that I was the firstborn and he likes to be the center of attention - and he is, but he achieves it in a negative way. He treats his own wife and children with disrespect too. Siblings should be taught to love and appreciate each other and I commend Jason for seeing his sister through the eyes of Jesus and her worth as a human being. Who cares if she doesn't have a boyfriend or husband? If she hasn't found the right man to court and eventually marry, I say she is wise and not throwing herself at any man that comes along. Evidently life in the Duggar household is not as horrible as some make it out to be. Please don't throw negatives at something that is meant to be a beautiful act of kindness between siblings. I think it's awesome!

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    1. Karen, so sorry to hear that. God bless you.

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    2. Karen, I am sorry to hear that about your brother. My sister and I didn't speak for 10 years. I felt like I hated her for what she had done to our family and how she treated us and just people in general. I held so much anger inside of me. She was on a self destructive path and no one could stop her until she was willing to acknowledge that she needed help. Please don't give up on your brother. I almost did with my sister. We are currently on speaking terms and are trying to rebuild a relationship. Be patient with your brother and don't stop contact!! Life is too short not to have your sibling. You be the first to break the ice. Don't be afraid to have open and honest discussions about why his walls are up. Life is too short.

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    3. Karen-I'm sorry that your brother has made the choices he has made. I too, have only one sibling, a brother one year older than me (adopted the year before I was born). He too has expressed hatred for me from the time we were 7-8 years old. By hate I mean he tried to kill me several times growing up. He also hates our mother intensely. Through counseling and insight from God, I discovered that he never bonded with our mother (as he had bonded with his male caregiver foster parent prior to his adoption). He's very close to our father. He hated me because I was "Daddy's girl", being the only girl (competition for Dad's affection) and because I was a good student (our mother wanted bragging rights, so she wanted Straight A/Honor Roll kids). My brother is very mechanically gifted (he's a successful contractor) and smart, just not academically gifted (he was pushed too early to achieve). I understand how you feel. I also want to encourage you to keep loving your brother and if you're a Christian to pray for him faithfully. I'd have never known the root of my brother's issues without God's help. While I don't like his behavior a majority of the time (he's done some pretty bad things), I do love him. Maybe my job is just to love him. We all want a Norman Rockwell family, but the reality is that broken people break people. Once we're aware that we've hurt people too, it's a little bit easier to love the "hard to love" people in our lives.

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  44. Karen- I have a brother who is estranged from our family. Mental illness and addiction have played a significant role. Your brother may have unaddressed psychological issues. What I have learned, and I'm a senior citizen, is that you cannot spend time beating yourself up over your lost relationship with your sibling if you've tried your best. Learning to let go is never easy. Sometimes, a person can live a healthier life with certain people out of it altogether. I have learned that from bitter experience.
    Best wishes to you.

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