Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Jessa: A Parent's Most Important Role

We are continuing to share Jessa Seewald's responses to the questions you submitted. For those who missed our first three posts, here are the links:

Jessa on Pregnancy 
Jessa on Pregnancy Cravings 
Update on Ben's Career

And now for today's question...

What is a Parent's Most Important Role?
Jessa: When I think of the most important things I have seen in my own parents' lives, I would have to say that there are three things that certainly stand out to me: their love for God, their love for each other, and their love for us kids.

First off, their love for God. It was and is so evident by the way they live! God is their rock in hard times. They seek wisdom through His Word (the Bible) and prayer before making any big decisions. They pray for each one of us kids by name, daily. We attended church together on Sundays, and we would study the Bible together as a family most every evening. These times are a precious memory for me!

Secondly, their love for one other. They have been such a wonderful example to me of what a godly, Christian couple should look like! Like every couple, I know that there are times when they have disagreements, but they calmly talk through things in private—and not in front of the kids. We never had insecurities of wondering if they loved each other, and I never remember seeing them fight or argue. When we were young, Grandma would often babysit us on Thursday evenings so they could keep a weekly date night. Even through times when finances have been tight, they would go out and do something together-- even if it was swinging through a drive-thru for a 0.99 cent ice cream cone and then taking an evening stroll in the park—they would make sure they had that time to communicate and catch up.

As a child, I remember when Dad would come home from work and he’d sneak up behind mom to give her a kiss on the cheek! He’d always think of sweet little things to do for her like bringing home flowers, and they’d often leave special notes for each other to find. Back before the days of cell phones and digital photo albums, I remember that Dad always carried his favorite picture of Mom in his wallet. It was so sweet! He would always praise her to us kids telling us that she was the most wonderful woman on Earth, and we knew we were blessed to have her as our Mom! When we take family outings, it’s so adorable to see Mom and Dad still holding hands and so passionate about each other. I think it’s precious how they are still so madly in love after 30-plus years of marriage. They are truly my heroes!

The third thing that stands out to me is how they pursued our hearts. I know that this is not just something that “happens.” They were very purposeful about this! They would always make time to talk to us one-on-one, and ask us questions about how we were doing and what was going on in our lives. Growing up, I truly felt like they knew me better than anyone else! I knew that they cared about me deeply, and they were there to see me be a success in life and pray me through any hard times I might face! It gave me great confidence as a young person to have such love and support from them.

Photos courtesy of


  1. Michelle is such a sweet and pretty mama. She is a great example to many. May God abundantly bless your family!

  2. So beautiful jessa! !!!
    I pray to God that I can have this kind of relationship with my husband one day. ..
    I'm married with a non believer & we have two kids. It has been very hard for me to stick it out all these years but I know God is with me. I have complete faith in God that one day I will see my husband surrendering his life to Jesus. If you see this Jessa PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.

  3. When we live our lives with God's first and second greatest commandments it helps us to love one another like God loves us. It also helps us to live a happy life. If people feel love it is easier to give love. When I look at your family I see a lot of love being given to one another, just beautiful.

  4. Very nice but aren't there more Duggar children to talk about other than Joll and Jessa? Come on, what's new with the others

  5. I heard that TLC is going to air some specials on Jill and Jessa, is this actually true?

  6. I have similar memories of my parents. When dad was so very sick, mom could still say his name and he would answer, "yes, sugarbabe"? We have been married 33 years, so by their example live your lives for Christ.

  7. Is it true that T L C is doing a special on the Duggar girls? ?????????

  8. We are greatly looking forward to the upcoming special with your sister Jill!

  9. Is it true Jessa and Jill are coming back to TLC??????

  10. How beautiful, I just read that you are going to be back on TV so I can't wait for that! Miss you all.

  11. Its wonderful how much love and support you give your parents, but even you have to admit they made some mistakes where Josh is concerned and maybe even a little bit where the rest of the kids are concerned, like y'all say no ones perfect, we can all learn from our mistakes, im sure your parents have reevaluated some of their ways some, and will make some adjustment's. Just wondering, they did the interview with Megan Kelly after the first scandal, will the speak again publicly after this latest one? Oh, so glad you are coming back to Tlc, best news I've had for months ;-)

  12. That's great news can't wait to watch you guys again xx

  13. How does she and Ben resolve arguments if she never saw her parents fights? I grew up it wasn't like screaming or belittling but mom starting arguing with dad, mom was wrong, dad forgave. A little argument here and there isn't bad.

  14. @Wenny W I think to have an argument the parties must consider themselves equal. It would be hard to argue one's case if one party were considered as "less than" the other. The one that was less than would just have to accept the decision or opinion of the other.

  15. The people that feel the need to criticize and sit in judgement of others like the Duggars, well, I'd love for their lives and actions to be public for all the world to see. I wonder if the rest of us would think they're as great and righteous as they think they are? My bet is they're not and they couldn't handle all the judgment and criticism. Don't judge others. None of us have the right. We all do and have done things and we're all allowed to have our own beliefs.

  16. You have the right to believe and behave the way you wish. Remember, you're not the only one with this right so maybe you should worry about how you believe and behave and stop worrying about how and what the Duggars are doing. Work on yourself before you try to fix others. God bless

  17. Wow! What perfect parents! My parents messed up all the time and had to demonstrate humility, and brokenness through asking for forgiveness. It must have been a joy to be raised with such godly perfection.

  18. That was a beautiful tribute to your parents. They truly sound like wonderful people and inspire me to do my best for Christ. Thank you for sharing.

  19. I wish that my marriage was as good as Jim Bob, and Michelle's. My marriage is struggling at the moment. I have been married for 15 almost 16 years. When your show was still on. I found myself wanting to have a close, and connected marriage like the Duggars. I am frustrated, but am not giving up. Thank you for sharing your family with us as long as you did.

  20. It is so true " Kids tell on you "
    Jessa reveals to us by her.character what kind.of.parents she.had.And.How she.was raised. Michelle did.a fine.job. Jessa is truly a wonderful young Christian woman who serves her.Lord and.Saviour with her.whole heart. She will be a wonderful mother.
    They say,"The Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree". And how beautiful Michalle walk with the Lord has been, For her hits have followed her example.
    It must have been difficult at times raising so many children. There must have been many difficult times. I am glad to see Jessa on her own. I don't believe she rushed into marriage. She courted Ben for a while. It is Jill who I was always concerned about. Jill hardly knew Derrick. Was wondering, is Derrick as conservative in his religious beliefs as Ben is? Did he have a conversion as Ben, Jessa Jinger, Grandmom, and Michelle had ??! I hope so. You never hear him speak as passionately and strongly as Ben has. Just wondering.
    I am pleased to see Jesse so strong in her faith. She picked two great men to name her son after. May our Lord bless you for this.

    1. Derrick is a phenomenal person I have so much respect for. Before marrying, he graduated from college, with a major that is a proven valuable skill. He did not seek courtship or marriage before that time. Even then, he worked on himself and his goals before trying to settle down. He gave himself time to figure out how to be an adult and independent. He then went out on the mission field with so much humility and faith. He listens twice as well as he speaks, and is an overall respectful person. He and Jill are a good match, imho, because they both are service minded and let their actions speak for them.

      There is no "talk" about what they "might" hope to do. They act, after careful consideration and prayer. They claim to hold no answers and are not condescending to anyone. They are able to actually connect with people because they don't let preconceived notions cloud their ability to build relationships with people.


      They aren't kids playing house. They were financially independent and skilled before courting, not forced to live off of Jim Bob's goodwill.


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