Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Recap: "A Duggar Says Yes"


Did you enjoy the season 8 premiere of 19 Kids and Counting? Here's the recap for those of you who weren't able to watch the episode live:
  • How did Ben and Jessa meet? Ben and his family showed up at the Duggars' church last spring, and Ben and Jessa started getting to know each other via texting. In September, Ben sought Jim Bob and Michelle's blessing to being a courtship. Jessa said yes.
  • Meet Ben: Ben Seewald is 18 years old and lives three-and-a-half hours south of the Duggars in the town of Hot Springs, Arkansas. The oldest of seven, he has four sisters and two brothers. He owns a windshield repair business and is a freshman at National Park Community College. Jessa describes Ben as "tall, dark, and handsome."
  • More about Jessa: According to the rest of the Duggars, Jessa was an energetic, strong-willed child. At age 20, she "tells it like it is," is loyal to her family and friends, and keeps a good handle on her emotions. When asked to describe his sister in one word, John-David chooses "opinionated."
  • After the couple breaks the courtship news to the Duggar family, Jim Bob reminds them that entering a courtship does not mean they should get married right away. Maybe four or five years down the road, he jokes. For now, he encourages Ben and Jessa to focus on building their relationship.
  • Jim Bob and the Duggar boys test Ben's character and strength by taking him outside for some back-breaking yard work.
  • While the guys work outside, the women prepare a meal. Jessa considers herself a bad cook and says she has warned Ben. Michelle, on the other hand, has full confidence in her daughter's abilities and encourages Jessa to start helping with dinner to build on her skills. 
  • When the boys come in to eat, Jim Bob puts Ben on the spot and asks him to pray over the meal.
  • Later on, Jessa's four oldest sisters help her pack to visit Ben. "We really need to treasure these moments together and make the most of them," says Jessa. According to Jill, the Duggar girls understand that marriage is not necessarily going to happen in age order, and they are okay with that.
  • "Jessa and I have always been really, really close," says Jinger, who is only 14 months younger. "It is kind of bittersweet seeing that Jessa is now in a courtship." 
  • John-David, a pilot in training, flies Michelle and Jessa down to Hot Springs. Ben meets them at the airport, and Michelle squeezes between the new couple in the front seat of Ben's truck.
  • Michelle babysits Ben's younger siblings while Ben's parents take Ben and Jessa on a double-date. While eating, the Seewalds ask Jessa questions about herself and how she feels about the courtship.   
  • "When it was all said and done, I'd say that dinner was very, very good," says Jessa.
  • Michelle and Jessa are also introduced to Ben's extended family. "The weekend was amazing, lots of wonderful opportunities for us to communicate and talk," says Jessa.
  • Back at the Duggars', Jim Bob tries to be Mr. Mom. He attempts to fix Josie's hair, but it doesn't quite turn out the way Mom and the older girls do it. Dad takes the clan out for pizza at a "kids eat free" restaurant and asks them what they think of Ben. The responses are positive.
  • Jim Bob also asks six-year-old Jennifer if she plans to get married someday. "Jenny is dead set against getting married right now, and I think that's fine," says the dad of 19. But he is pretty sure she will change her mind eventually.
  • Jim Bob predicts that Jessa's courtship (and now Jill's) will cause more guys to express interest in his other daughters. "It's open season," he jokes.   

101 comments:

  1. I'm pretty sure they started courting in June and the courtship was just announced publicly in September.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello,
    where can I watch it, since I live in Australia

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I sure enjoyed tonights show. I found it super sweet and an unexpected twist on things to see Ben's parents question Jessa. I loved seeing their hearts and seeing their side of things. How exciting it must be for them as well to have a potential daughter in law. Very very sweet! I had to giggle at how scripted that whole "ask the parents" scene was but it was still just so sweet, the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope Jana and Jinger don't feel like they're up for auction and are the last ones picked for the team. This process is awful. I think that the parents are only seeing one side of the coin. That doesn't do their children a service at all.

    The Duggar brothers actually did nothing but work outside and put Ben to work with them. They didn't "grill him" as advertised.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks! I was not able to watch it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am a huge fan of the Duggars, I have learned a lot from Michelle Duggar on being a good patient Mom. As Orthodox Jews, we are very similar to Duggars and Bates in courting. Orthodox Jews dress modestly, no pants, high necklines, cover knees, but we also cover elbows. We also date for purpose of marriage only. We do not touch at all, which is understood, so it does not even have to be discussed. Because there is no touching at all during dating, we only date at the most 3 to 4 months before engagement. So seeing all the constant telling of Jessa and Ben about not touching seemed a little too overbearing to me, and at times seemed like teasing almost, since they know they aren't. Also, we go on dates to public places such as parks, and restaurants, but we do not have to have someone sit between the couple in the car- if the couple can't be trusted to go in a car somewhere, then they are not ready for marriage and shouldn't be dating. Since this is the chance the couple have to get to know each other for marriage, no one should get in the way of their ability to communicate and get to know each other, it shouldn't be something for the amusement of the parents. I am sure when the parents dated they did not have intrusions on their getting to know each other, so they should be aware of that a little more. If the couple is nervous because of constantly being on display it could be an obstacle to moving further. But over all the couple seems really sweet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think it was about trusting them to sit next to each other. I think it was about avoiding the feelings it would cause them physically so that they wouldn't have to be tempted.

      Delete
    2. But the bottom line is that there will be feelings & temptation, regardless of touching. I agree with Marlene, they need the opportunity to be trusted & get to know one another without so much interference. While I do enjoy the families showcased, I do think it's a bit overbearing & sometimes over-thought (discussions with the Duggar girls on the order of marriage or the lack thereof...really?!). As for Ben's parents, I felt their questioning of Jessa was very scripted and just not all that genuine. And if the goal is for them to get to know one another & assess their compatibility, I hope all involved understand that may mean the couple finds they are not right for each other...and that should be okay. I'm actually interested to find out/see the one Duggar kid who decides this "lifestyle" is a bit much for them & actually goes away to college & experiences/embraces some ideologies different from their upbringing...maybe to adopt a mindset of their own.

      Delete
  7. Will you be putting the episode on here so we who have zero cable can watch it?

    ReplyDelete
  8. So nice of you to recap the show for those people who couldn't watch it.Love loved the show, what an exciting season to look forward to. I had the goose bumps through it all!;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Someone please upload this!!! we are dying here in Australia waiting!!!! :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is there any chance you can put a link to the episode

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love watching the Duggars n love their desire to want to serve Jesus in everything. would like if they (Jim Bob n Michelle) kept their kisses for each other OFF camera.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The show sounds wonderful and I am really hoping someone will youtube it for those of us overseas. I have enjoyed watching all the cute videos of the upcoming season and the girls talking about their book and guys! Your little hair tutorial is great, I think the girls should do more like that and Ellie you made a great presenter. I hope you will get to meet them again and do another video for the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is it me or is Jana hiding something? Could she already be married? I noticed when she sat on her bed their was no pillow or bedspread. Has she moved out of the family home?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm in Ireland and we won't see these episodes for at least 2 years. Just wondering if we found out what Anna's surprise phone call was all about?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love the Duggars and their show, but this episode was a little cringeworthy. The parents take courting to such an extreme that it becomes comical. I agree with Marlene that it is almost like teasing and things are said and done for the parents amusement. Michelle sitting between the two was ridiculous and seemed to be done for the cameras. Yes it was sweet, but there was nothing romantic about it and Jessa and Ben are like awkward inexperienced teenagers. I think a lot of this episode was planned for tv and made the real moments seem badly rehearsed. Still love them thought.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I watched the Duggar show last night for the first time in a long time. I think it is unfair to the children that they cannot even be trusted to hold hands. They couldn't even hold hands during prayer with the whole family watching? come on that is pushing it a little to far. I think they should trust their children more. Also I would like to comment about the flea market they had. I think it is wonderful that they raise money for the childrens hospital, however, I didn't really see Jim Bob or Michelle really do anything but just walk around giving orders or complaining about how they didn't think they were gonna be ready on time. I probably won't watch the show again only watched last night for lack of anything better on tv.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you. While I think striving to remain pure is a good thing, I think they should be trusted more. If they're old enough to consider marriage, one would think they'd be old enough to be trusted wtih a little time alone. If these two have all the gdly character they tall about having, then they could use that character (self-control, honesty, etc.) to be without a chaperone. Just my thoughts.

      Delete
  17. Noomi (from Sweden)April 2, 2014 at 7:09 AM

    I have looked all over the internet (well, almost) but I can´t find a place where I can look att the show. Can you please help me, Lily and Ellie? I had looked forward to this, but now I realise I can´t watch it :(

    ReplyDelete
  18. I enjoyed the new episode. I happy for Ben and Jessa and now Jill and Derrick. It's set on my DVR. I'll be watching it again later.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I really hope Jill and Derick get married first.They are older and Derick seems a little more established with his career and finances. Ben is sweet but still so young and not even out of his teens yet, I hope they take it slower then the average fast courtship these days.I know they seem mature for their age but really they haven't had much experience as adults yet.I hope Jill and Derick have a chance to do plenty of mission work together before having kids right away.What a waste of her skills if she can't use them because she's pregnant and can't travel.I guess we will see, I will love them no matter how it turns out, those are just some my wishes.Can't wait till next weeks episode!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Can't wait till us Aussies can watch it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. While it is admirable that their children have been raised with good morals letc- it is also disturbing. Raising children with such a close minded, limited view of the real world is unhealthy to say the least. These girls seem to have no other ambitions in life but getting married and breeding. What about travelling? Seeing the world? Making friends with someone outside the church? Going to college? And if u have to chaperone a 20 yr old and monitor their texts/ emails then its pretty obvious u don't trust them or have faith in how u raised them. Its disturbing that at their ages tgey r not more open minded. This isn't the 1930's....time to get in tge real world...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I personally don't agree with every point you made, this one did definitely cross my mind: "And if u have to chaperone a 20 yr old and monitor their texts/ emails then its pretty obvious u don't trust them or have faith in how u raised them."

      Delete
    2. Are you kidding me? These duggars have travelled More then most people will in a lifetime! You make motherhood sound like punishment. These girls are raised to think of serving and being beautiful human beings not his much money they can make. I think its wonderful that they are trying to spare them some of the wrong choices young people can make if left unchaperoned. They won't be raising unwed pregnant teens. More power to the Duggars!

      Delete
    3. Do u ever watch this show?? These kids have seen more of "the world" than a vast majority of folks will ever hope to see! Jill is studying to be a midwife, travels for mission work and of course has made friends "outside" their church! As for being "open minded", that's another issue entirely. When we have the TRUTH, why open our souls to the trash of this world? That phrase, "open minded", is just code for allowing SIN in to confound the mind and of course we all know how all the "open minds" today are doing, right? The 30's attitudes and society AREN'T too bad either when compared to today's and I'll aim high like the Duggars any day!

      Delete
  22. I am sorry but Michelle and Jim Bob are having more kids for the older kids to take care of and that's unfair and selfish. I no that God says to be fruitful, but be fruitful and raise your own kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd like to see you take care of 19 kids by yourself ...give me z break I was raised in a family of 6 kids and yes we helped out.

      Delete
  23. It is not about them not trusting their kids. It's about saving as much as you can for your future spouse, not giving it away to any average Joe that walks along.

    ReplyDelete
  24. For those, like me, that don't have cable, you can buy the episodes through Amazon instant video for $2 an episode. I love watching the Duggars and think they have great family values. The kids are in a loving environment and are happy with the way their parents are raising them. I don't think they need to change a thing!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thanks so much for posting the recap. I cannot wait to see the actual episode! Have any idea when it will be up? There are lots of fake ones on youtube. Thanks for all you do to keep us updated Ellie and Lilly! ~Krista

    ReplyDelete
  26. I didn't get to watch the show because we don't have TV. Do you think that you could post the show on your blog so that I could watch it? Thanks for everything! I think you have a great thing going here!

    Sincerely,
    Maxine Zoe Evans

    ReplyDelete
  27. What a rude thing for JD and Joseph to say. Likewise with Jim-Bob's "open season" comment.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you, Lily and Ellie! Wow--you two are impressive! You put up so many videos yesterday that I'll have to catch up. I tried to watch them last night, but my internet connection wouldn't work (nor could I post any comments either :-( ).
    I really appreciate the recap. Sounds like a wonderful start for this season. Could you PLEASE let us know when it's posted on YouTube? I don't have TV --just like the Duggars--and so YouTube is the only way I can see them (when my internet works since I live in a rural area).
    I also wanted to say that Mr. Duggar's prediction at the end is not far off. I think the Duggar sisters would make excellent wives for conservative Christian men. We need more of them!
    Thank you so much and God bless you!
    --C.H. Duggar fan from Oklahoma

    ReplyDelete
  29. I still wonder if one of the kids wanted to leave the house and move elsewhere- go to a 4 year college etc. , would they let them? Especially the girls...I don't feel they have a choice or even the world understanding to know what else is open to them.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Thanks so much! !!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for Jill and Derek as well as Jessa and Ben!
    I just love the Duggar family. Grace.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I hope someone posts the full episode….I can't watch it :(

    ReplyDelete
  32. I watched it and felt so bad for Ben! Mr. Duggar and the boys were giving him a hard time.

    ReplyDelete
  33. @Anonymous


    No, that was not on last nights episode.

    ReplyDelete
  34. @Noomi (from Sweden)

    Hi Noomi,

    The episodes are often uploaded to YouTube. If/when they are, we will link to them :)

    ~Lily and Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  35. Does anyone have the link to purchase the episode on amazon? Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I 100% agree! Jessa is a 20 year old ADULT! I cannot wrap my mind around having to chaperone your adult daughter and monitoring her texts. And no hand holding? Come on! I've often wondered what the older girls really think...do they have aspirations, do they wish they could date, do they wish they could develop friendships / relationships with others outside of their religion beliefs and quite frankly, are they sick and tired of raising their mothers children? They live such isolated lives, I really feel sorry for them and I feel like they are missing out on so much. I would love to see at least one of them say, "you know what, this just isn't for me. I'd going to move away, go to college and experience LIFE".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I wonder if that particular daughter (or son) did choose to go & experience life outside of Duggarhood, would that child be ousted or grated differently? It's an interesting dynamic, for sure.

      Delete
  37. Does anyone have the link to the episode on amazon? Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  38. @Lily and Ellie
    That would be GREAT I would really enjoy that! Thanks for all you girls do!! Hope to see it ASAP!! Hannah

    ReplyDelete
  39. Its obvious the Duggars are nice, good people. But sometimes I wonder if they are harming their children in some way by limiting them? I have followed Josh Duggar on twitter and some of his tweets are crude and offensive to pple he believes ( i guess) that are not like him. I hope all the children don't turn out like him. Being a Christian is great but remember its not our place to judge. That is Gods place. I agree with many others - if these children were more exposed to team sports instead of individual instrument lessons- if they were given the opportunity of college - of moving out on their own- would they do it? Would their parents allow it? They may have travelled etc but i have a feeling they will end up being adults who are very narrow minded. It is sad. The world is full of wonderful opportunities besides marriage and babies and I pray they learn that some day. God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Glad the show is back on the air. I don't find their courting conditions out of line because everyone involved seems to be on the same page and comfortable with the parameters. I would not expect these standards of my children because they have been raised differently, but I don't see the point in criticizing their standards. I am certain the Duggars would not criticize me for the standards of morality I have taught my children. Our choices are just different but the common ground is great love for our children and a desire to bring them up to love and serve the Lord. What I especially appreciate about the Duggars is their unswerving dedication and consistency to the standards they adhere to. Frankly, I would be disappointed to see them adopt some of the more worldly standards some seem to desire for them. It does me a lot of good to see a family stick to their morals and convictions. I think it is a lot harder to go against the grain, but I think the results here speak very favorably for the Duggars.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I also want to add a word about the chaperoning to my comments. I feel they are taking chaperoning to extremes. Chaperoning means the couple understands and are aware that people are around, but those other people do not literally have to be sitting in the room all the time! The chaperones can be sitting in another room or at a distance. For example, the couple can be having dinner at a restaurant, and the chaperones can be at another table. Or they can be at a park walking, and the chaperones can be sitting on a park bench reading. In fact the extreme that it has been taken too is disrespectful of the couple. The couple should be able to sit in a room, or on the porch, as long as someone is in the next room.

    It is assumed that if the couple is mature and trustworthy enough for marriage, they are trustworthy to sit in a room alone talking and getting to know each other, understanding someone could walk in any minute. Even Hasidic Jews sit alone in a room talking with the parents in another room. When Michelle Duggar sat between Ben and Jessa in the car it was really really not right and actually an insult to the couple. If Ben and Jessa had sat in the front and Michelle had sat right behind them- what better chaperone is that?? There was obviously enough space between Ben and Jessa- (enough space for a whole person), that Michelle didn't have to squeeze up against Ben like that, which actually makes a mockery of chaperoning. This is really not considerate of two people courting to get to know each other for marriage. It was like treating them like 2 year olds. And Jim Bob's constant needling and teasing about not touching but constant kissing Michelle in front of them is also like teasing and not respecting 2 young adults who have already set their boundaries.

    They have lost sight of the forest for the trees. The purpose is the courting and getting to know each other, and to learn to communicate. The purpose is not the chaperoning in itself to be as disruptive as possible and for the couple to being on display for others amusement. The purpose is to become close enough through communication only and not through physical contact- they cannot due that if they are constantly being intruded upon and put on display. I really feel sorry for Ben, I think the Bates have gotten this more right.

    In Orthodox Judaism we do not touch at all during dating, yet our chaperoning is far far less intrusive, in fact the couple can go in a car during the day to a public place without a chaperone, and there is absolutely no touching at all, nor sitting closely together. Something is wrong here when the chaperones are this intrusive, and detracts from the growing relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Lily and Ellie,
    I don't have cable. Is the episode on youtube or anything yet?
    Thanks!
    Brittany

    ReplyDelete
  43. @Anonymous
    Anonymous 21 - I find it odd that you watch a show full of things you don't like? Personally, I believe that if parents protected their children better we would be suffering from fewer of the ails that trouble our world, such as teen pregnancy, drug use and homelessness. Jim Bob and Michelle do trust their children, but that doesn't mean they can't continue to protect them for as long as possible. Remember, we only see s small snapshot of their lives, and so may not fully understand all of the choices the family may make, but they sure seem happy with the way they live and we have no right to question their choices. After all, they don't pass judgement on ours. In terms of travel, they've seen South America, Asia, much of North America, the UK and Israel - that's a whole lot more of the world than I've seen! Joanne

    ReplyDelete
  44. Last night's episode is up on iTunes & Amazon. There's a price to it, but I think it's worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I really think that John, Joseph, and Mr. Duggar were joking. They are raising responsible kids how pull their own weight. Who do you think the examples are of how to take care of kids. Also, from last nights episode it is clear that Jessa is not doing most or much of the cooking. They have never said the kids cannot go to college. college is not the be all end all. What is wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom?

    ReplyDelete
  46. So is Hot Springs three-and-a-half in a car or by plane? Thanks for the recap; I don't have TLC!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Anonymous- no I don't think they can leave and go to college if they want to. I think they have to be stay-at-home daughters. Jana I think will work for her family forever. I suspect she knows this. I really can't imagine her leaving. Jinger...Jinger I think would love to go to university.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anyone know if the new episodes will be on iTunes for purchase again?

    ReplyDelete
  49. @WalktheTalk@WalktheTalk----I agree, there is something about Jana. More than being shy; she's hiding something.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I can't remember what was said that was so rude?

    ReplyDelete
  51. http://www.duggarsblog.blogspot.com/p/watch-full-episodes.html

    ReplyDelete
  52. anyone know when it will be on amazon? I want to watch it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. Thank you for the recap. I just watched it on itunes. I love the Duggars and so happy for Jessa and Jill. I do think Ben and Jessa are a bit young to get married, but its their life to live! I think that several of the Duggars have other ambitions like college/job training, other than getting married and having babies, but I see no reason why they can't have both. They seem to be very happy and live their lives to serve God and help others. Really great family!!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ben seems to have his head on his shoulders about going to college and holding a job. Jim bod please tell us why none of your daughter can hold jobs? I want to know this answer. Jesus never said we women cannot hold jobs. and for jim bod and michelle having more kids. go into the foster care system and find kids who need a good home. Michelle is risking her life to have another child. God would not want that for any women.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I just purchased the video on Amazon Instant

    ReplyDelete
  56. I completely agree with the Duggars view on courtship(except I go for no touching at all). I am 18 years old and have never been in a courtship, but when/if I ever am, we wouldn't be alone together, even after engagement. Its not a matter of whether your parents can trust you or not...it is simply to help you be accountable and being with someone other than the guy or girl you are courting cuts down the temptations. There should be opportunities for private conversation to get to know the other person, but that can be done in the same room as other people. I don't think you can be too careful in this regard. And I think parents need to moniter texts and emails, you need to be accountable to someone.While I know my parents wouldn't not let me court anyone unless both of us agreed to these standards, I don't feel that they are abusing their parental authority by insisting on high standards. The Bible says "children obey your parents" It does not say, until you are of age. JimBob and Michelle have every right ask this of their children and to insist these rules be observed. And lets remember, they are humans and they don't "have it all together" Yes, they make mistakes, but in this area, I feel they are right.
    This is coming from someone on the opposite end of the spectrum...I'm the one who obeys the rules, not makes them and I'm glad that I have people older and wiser than me helping to keep me pure for my future husband. Better to be on the safe side than to have regrets later.

    ReplyDelete
  57. @WalktheTalkI have the same feeling. Not that she's married but possibly moved out of the family home.

    ReplyDelete
  58. @nicole spring
    It's on Amazon Instant video now.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The season premiere episode is now on YouTube, but it is also on Amazon and iTunes. If you want better quality, I recommend buying the episode on either Amazon or iTunes. Go on Amazon Instant and then I believe it's either listed as Season 11 or Season 10.

    ReplyDelete
  60. As much as I like to watch these shows easily on You Tube I think that is undermining the legitimate process of publication and some how cheating the Duggars and TLC and sponsors of the show. I think these shows should be marketed through the proper channels and people who want to see them should find the various legitimate options, myself included.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Maybe Lily and Ellie could get access to a means for people to purchase viewings of the new shows to be seen online on home computers rather than television and have that available on this site.

    ReplyDelete
  62. @Anonymous

    Hi Anonymous 54,

    That's a good attitude to have. But we did speak with a representative from the show prior to linking to any YouTube episodes, just to make sure it was okay with them.

    Enjoy the rest of your week!
    Lily and Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  63. @Brittany

    Hi Brittany,

    It's not on YouTube yet, but it's on Amazon and iTunes. :)

    ~Lily and Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  64. @Anonymous

    Hi Anonymous 35,

    Here's the link to the episode on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JESGMR4?ref_=atv_dp_season_select_s13

    ~Lily and Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  65. @Lily and Ellie
    I'm confused because I thought it said on the show that it was only 40 minutes by plane. I think you meant car. :)

    ReplyDelete
  66. @Anonymous
    Actually, I made a mistake. They list the episode on YouTube, but YouTube removed it due to copyright.

    ReplyDelete
  67. I am glad a show rep agreed to you posting links Lilly and Ellie. As I mentioned before I am in the UK and here we can't see the show on Amazon or iTunes videos, not sure why. but I am glad it is ok with them.

    ReplyDelete
  68. It is not a matter of girls should not work. It is more of a belief that women are under the curse of pain in child birth and submission to husbands. Men are under the curse of having to work hard. Some parents believe that women should not be forced to be under mans curse as well as the curse of women.

    We do not REALLY know this family. We do no know that the girls cannot go to college if they want. We only see what the show wants us to see. Now I do hope that all parent prepare all children how to take care of themselves just in case the need arises. We do not know what previsions are being made.

    They are not perfect. Take what you like about how they do things and make it fit into your own life. Throw away what you do not like or tweak it to make it work.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Beyond company representatives, I wonder what the Duggars think of people short cutting by waiting to watch their films on someone's home video of a big screen television set? That is what I usually do because I'm too undisciplined to sit down at the television set at the time the show is on. Instead of watching my television I think, "Oh well, it will be posted online by a person who filmed their television and I can watch that anytime". I actually have cable and a television, too.

    ReplyDelete
  70. There are comments about the girls not working, but actually they are (actresses) on a reality show. Also they are authors. A part of the work we have lately seen them do is promotions and sales. They are capitalizing on the value of their home life and exploiting their potential without having to take other jobs. I was wondering if they are also plugging products for profit in some clips.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I think it is nice the Duggar parents are so pro-active in giving guidance to their children regarding the process of finding their marriage partner. I went out into the world at age 18 very naïve and very innocent and as untaught, untalked to, unprepared, untracked - as a girl could be. I can say from lots of experience that as soon as a door closes many men get directly to 'it'. After getting treated like that, I got to be the quick instigator with some not so innocent and some very innocent men. Those are demons maybe, really! Hopefully the Duggars are being viewed by people who need to know better, not just reinforce values they already have been taught, so that people can be set free and live better lives. I do not think the Duggars are exaggerating in their behaviours, their honest attempts at meaningful care is much better than token gestures or nothing at all! Re: having Michelle sit in the middle, what if eventually the couple does not marry, the less given away the less to take back.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Wow, (Marlene Young #43), You said it and you said it right. I have such respect for YOUR character ma'am. The Duggars should learn from you. They have lost sight of what's appropriate and I have also stated before that they are using the most important decision their children will EVER be called upon to make for their own amusement. That is sinful, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Thank you for your Godly attitude. It is better to be safe than sorry. Also there are many guys who will pretend to be Godly just to catch a nice girl. They marry her, then stop going to church, soon have her not going to church, often they isolate their wife from others and start physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing. The thought of anyone getting married these days is rather scary. Can you really know your future mate? It's too easy to be someone you are not. I've seen it way too often!

    ReplyDelete
  74. So very happy for both Jill and Jessa!

    ReplyDelete
  75. @Anonymous

    Not sure why you'd think there's a "process" to when the girls find their guys--I certainly hope Jim Bob and Michelle don't tell their children that they can't marry until their older siblings do!

    ReplyDelete
  76. @ Lily & Ellie-
    So wait, Hot Springs Arkansas is three and a half hours away from the Duggars who also live in Arkansas BY PLANE? That makes no sense at all, am I missing something? :P
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  77. @Marlene Young I'm happy to hear of more conservative ways of getting to know each other. It's so nice that it's gone mainstream, so that everyone will come to hear of these ways. Even if people don't view the show, they are bound to see magazine articles on the family. I dearly wish that I had been protected & encouraged in this way in my youth. So happy for both girls who are courting.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I can give you one reason why that was purely absolutely ridiculous for Michelle to sit between Ben and Jessa in a stick shift car......safety. If Michelle was so worried about unproper attraction, she should have made Jessa sit in the back seat. Hey, that would show what this family really believes though. Women are back seat citizens.

    ReplyDelete
  79. the first two parts are on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi5QPHl2ypsWdVeu2Ho0vFw :)

    ReplyDelete
  80. Jessa Duggar is a 20 year old women and very capable adult. She surely knows the family "rules" as far as courting goes. Her parents can advise and guide, but she is an adult. It's sort of creepy that her parents talk about it and question them constantly. Best of luck to you Jessa and Ben!

    ReplyDelete
  81. Well good luck. Maybe every duggar will marry their first courtship but maybe not. The older one can't go out alone I read. What if she turns forty and never marries. .... not that it matters but she is not legally bound to them and all will have wealth if they somehow choose to live differently and still serve the lord.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Hit springs is no way 3.5 hours by plane. That is about new york to colorado.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hi Lilly and Ellie
    5 of 6 of the episode a duggar says yes are on YouTube on duggar fan channel ( the same one as last season) :) blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  84. @Anonymous

    Hi Anonymous 48,

    Sorry for the typo. We meant to say that Hot Springs is 3.5 hours by car. :)

    ~Lily and Ellie

    ReplyDelete
  85. Why has the hand holding rule come into effect? Josh and Anna were always holding hands during the courting process!

    ReplyDelete
  86. I enjoy the show. Noone is going to agree 100 percent with other families life choices. They seen to be happy and so pleasant . I wish I could be more like them..

    ReplyDelete
  87. I thought tbe girls helped deliver babiesfor a job. I no they were studying this.

    ReplyDelete
  88. That was the most awkward proposal and acceptance I have ever seen. It was downright uncomfortable. That being said, they seem like a sweet couple and I hope they end up tying the knot!

    ReplyDelete
  89. I would just like to point out that if you don't like the Duggar's and their family values, there is a simple solution: Stop watching their show and viewing their material online!

    It is not a matter of "trust", it is a matter of love. They love their daughter so much that they want to set boundaries to protect not only her heart, but the heart of the man she is courting as well.

    I don't understand why every one feels the need to bash such a Godly lifestyle. If more people in this world adapted this kind of lifestyle, we would be much better off. I would rather see an "overprotective" family any day than to see a family that raises their children to drink, do drugs, have premarital sex, get pregnant out of wedlock, get abortions, lead homosexual lifestyles, and the list goes on and on. God forbid we have some righteousness in this land! Come on people, quit picking at this family and began examining your own lives!

    Although none of these rude comments should be surprising, because Jesus himself said that those that follow him will be persecuted for righteousness sake.

    Please, take a moment to pray about your own lives, hearts, and desires before cutting into someone else's.

    ReplyDelete
  90. @Lauren K. Lotter

    Lauren. Children are by definition minors. These folks are not children. Many of us are very comfortable with how they raise their children, have handled life on tv. It's the relationship with the adults in their family that bother us. We can accept communities like the Amish because we know they are free to leave those communities, cause some do.

    As to the purity comment is it more noble to resist temptation or to avoid it? Have you heard Elizabeth Smart speak? You can do more harm with such a narrow view of a person worth being dependent on what may have happened to them physically. If God means for you to marry a person it doesn't matter what they did before they met you. What is the point of Christianity?

    Two adults are on the porch at a large family gathering. They do not need two people on the porch with them to feel like they are protected. What if one is moved to hug? Is the chaperone supposed to stop them?

    It's fine they don't want to do it before they are married. A lot of people agree. This isn't practicing self control, if the self isn't required to control anything. The are adults. They can go on dates in public places. They can group date. They can not be in each other's homes unless there are other people in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  91. I think the dad should reconsider how he treats his wife on these chaperone adventures. It's poor taste to be all touchy while he is at the same time insistent they not do those same things. I mean it as a charitable remark.

    ReplyDelete
  92. there is rumors of Jana being engaged is this true if so may they be blesses as well as you all

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for leaving your comments! We answer as many of your questions as we can, but due to the number of comments we receive daily, we are unable to answer every one. Our aim is to post all points of view, but we do not post anything that is profane, insulting, derogatory, or in poor taste.