'I Will Carry You'

Earlier today, we posted the letter that Michelle Duggar wrote to daughter Jubilee Shalom Duggar, stillborn five years ago. For those who are going through or have gone through a miscarriage, we also wanted to share the YouTube video of a song that encouraged Michelle, as well as a video explaining the story that inspired the song. The song is called "I Will Carry You" by the band Selah.

Videos courtesy Todd and Angie Smith/Selah/B&H Publishing Group

In Memory of Jubilee

Five years ago on November 8th, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar announced to Ann Curry on NBC's Today Show that they were expecting their 20th child, due the following April. (Click here to watch the video clip.)

Less than one month later, on December 2, 2011, their joy turned to sorrow when Jubilee Shalom Duggar entered into the presence of Jesus. She was stillborn at 11:46 p.m. on December 11, 2011, weighing 4 oz and measuring 6 cm in length. Her memorial service was held three days later.

In memory of Jubilee, we have embedded the audio version of the letter that Michelle wrote to her baby girl during the grieving process. If you have been reading our blog for several years, you may have heard it, but we know there are many of you who haven't. It truly is a beautiful letter.

Audio/photo courtesy duggarfamily.com

Duggar Baby Statistics

 The Duggar family in 1994

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have been married for 32 years. After tying the knot in July 1984, when Michelle was 17 and Jim Bob was 19, the couple waited nearly four years before having their first child.

Between March 1988 and December 2009, a span of almost 22 years, Michelle Duggar gave birth 17 times and was pregnant for more than 12 years. During that period, there were only five calendar years in which the Duggars did not welcome a child.

Aside from the 22-month gap between Josh and twins Jana and John, as well as between Johannah and Jennifer, all the Duggar kids are between 12 and 19 months apart. The average age gap is 16 months.

To compare these statistics to those of the Bates family, visit the "Bates Baby Statistics" post on our Bates Family Blog. 

1. Joshua James Duggar
22 months
*
2. Jana Marie Duggar
3. John-David Duggar
16 months

4. Jill Michelle (Duggar) Dillard
18 months

5. Jessa Lauren (Duggar) Seewald
13 months

6. Jinger Nicole (Duggar) Vuolo
13 months

7. Joseph Garrett Duggar
19 months

8. Josiah Matthew Duggar
14 months

9. Joy-Anna Duggar
14 months

10. Jedidiah Robert Duggar
11. Jeremiah Robert Duggar
16 months

12. Jason Michael Duggar
15 months

13. James Andrew Duggar
16 months

14. Justin Samuel Duggar
18 months

15. Jackson Levi Duggar
17 months

16. Johannah Faith Duggar
22 months

17. Jennifer Danielle Duggar
16 months

18. Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar
12 months

19. Josie Brooklyn Duggar
**

*Caleb Duggar was born to eternal rest after Joshua and before twins Jana and John-David.
**Jubilee Shalom Duggar entered into the presence of Jesus December 2, 2011. She was stillborn at 11:46 p.m. on December 11, 2011, weighing 4 oz and measuring 6 cm in length.

Photo courtesy duggarfamily.com

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar on Grieving

On December 11th, 2011, one month after the Duggars announced that they were expecting their 20th child, Jubilee Shalom Duggar was stillborn, weighing 4 ounces and measuring 6 centimeters in length.

In a recent YouTube video, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar share how their family grieved the loss of their baby. The Duggars also give advice to people who are morning the loss of a loved on, as well as to people who know someone who is grieving. 

"I thought what was very precious was a lady that headed up our crisis pregnancy center," explained Michelle. "She dropped by our house and came, and she gave us the most beautiful literature about babies that were the size of our little Jubilee. And so it was very encouraging for me to read through that and those resources that she shared with me."

Remembering Jubilee Duggar

Two years ago on November 8th, the Duggars announced on NBC's Today Show that they were expecting their 20th child. On December 2, 2011, Jubilee Shalom Duggar entered into the presence of Jesus. She was stillborn at 11:46 p.m. on December 11, 2011, weighing 4 oz and measuring 6 cm in length.

In memory of Jubilee, Caleb, and all the other infants who have been stillborn, we have embedded the audio version of Michelle's letter to Jubilee and a YouTube music video of a song that helped her cope with her miscarriage.

Jubilee Shalom Duggar from WMtek Inc on Vimeo.

"I will Carry You" by Selah

Lyrics:

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

[Chorus]

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says ...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

[Chorus]

Remembering Jubilee Shalom

Sending thoughts and prayers to Jim Bob and Michelle and their kids. Today is the one-year anniversary of Jubilee Shalom Duggar's stillbirth.

Click here to listen to Michelle's heart-felt letter to Jubilee.

"A Duggar Loss" Recap

On tonight's episode of 19 Kids and Counting, "A Duggar Loss"...

• The Duggars travel to New York City to announce Michelle's pregnancy on the Today Show. (Click here to watch the segment.) In the green room, the kids enjoy the smorgasbord of goodies provided by NBC while watching the first half of the broadcast.
• During the early stages of her pregnancy, Michelle takes extra care to watch her diet, take vitamins, and exercise daily. 
• Michelle and best friend Cindy visit Arkansas Children's Hospital with Jana and Josie. The doctors and nurses who sustained Josie's life when she was born at a mere 22 ounces are thrilled to see the healthy toddler walking, talking, and blowing kisses.
• Back home, the Duggars gather in the living room to discuss baby names. If it is a boy, how about naming the child after his father? "I think there's only room for one Jim Bob in this family," says Michelle. "In this world," adds Jim Bob, smirking. But they add the name to their list nonetheless.
• "This is going to end in disaster," says Jedidiah, as the kids throw out names faster than Mom and Dad can record them on paper.                                                                                                                   

  Boys	Girls
  Jarvis	Janelle
  Joel	Julie
  Jim Bob	Jenessa
  Jefferson	Jane
  Justice	Jenesis
  	Jubilee

   
• The following day, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar head to the doctor's office for a special appointment. Soundman Bill Stefanacci will be the secret-keeper until he announces the baby's gender to the entire family.
• The ultrasound technician searches for the baby's heartbeat. "I could tell by the look on her face that something wasn't right," Michelle tells TLC, devastated by the news that their baby had passed. "Your whole world turns upside down," shares Jim Bob. 
• The doctor measures the baby at 16 weeks, 1 day; but Jill recalls recording the heartbeat at 17 weeks, 4 days. 
• After the reality of the loss of their twenty-first child sinks in, Jim Bob and Michelle release their emotions in a heartfelt prayer.
• Once home, the couple fights to keep their composure as they gather the troops and share the devastating news. "We have nineteen here and two with the Lord," Michelle explains.
• Jim Bob makes his way around the living room, hugging and comforting each of his children. 
• In the three days leading up to the stillbirth of Jubilee Shalom Duggar, Michelle pours her heart out to God and to her baby. (Hear her letter to Jubilee below.)
• "She looked like a little Duggar, just in a tiny form," says the grieving mommy. "We are so grateful for the time that [God] gave us with her."
• Jim Bob and Michelle invite their family and friends to celebrate Jubilee's short but meaningful life. They also invite the pastor who counseled them as teenagers and officiated their wedding twenty-eight years ago to speak. 
• After the memorial service, the family gathers at a local cemetery to bury Jubilee. "We needed the closure, to be able to say goodbye," explains Michelle.
• Michelle chooses the butterfly to symbolize her daughter's life.

Jubilee Shalom Duggar from WMtek Inc on Vimeo.

*The song played at the memorial service is "I Will Carry You" by Selah. Click here to listen. 

Update: How are the Duggars Coping?

The Duggars are drawing closer as a family as they mourn the loss of 21st child Jubilee Shalom. While Michelle is getting plenty of rest (thanks to Jim Bob and the kids), she has by no means checked out. Even during this painful time, she is in the midst of her children; showering them with love, sharing in their tears, and joining them in prayer.

"[Jill] was crying and weeping last night," Michelle told People Magazine at Wednesday's memorial service. "I hugged her and said, 'I am holding on, and I am going to let the tears go. We can pray, cry and grieve together in the weeks and days we walk through this.' "  

"Our calendar is cleared off, and we are going to take time to talk and pray and cry," says Michelle. "This is going to be a time for our family to just be together."

But one thing that the Duggars are not erasing from their agenda are their December birthdays (all five of them). Turning another year older may not seem like a big event in such a large family, but no birthday goes unnoticed in the Duggar home. Josie celebrated her milestone second birthday on December 10th, Jordyn turned three yesterday, Jinger enters adulthood on Wednesday, and twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah become teenagers on December 30th.

Hear Michelle's Letter to Jubilee

Listen to Michelle share her heart with daughter Jubilee Shalom Duggar. The following letter was recorded by the grieving mama and played at Jubilee's memorial service.

Jubilee Shalom Duggar from John Andersen on Vimeo.

Hundreds Gather for Memorial Service

Yesterday, hundreds of guests gathered at a local church for Jubilee Shalom Duggar's memorial service.

To show her love for Jubilee, Michelle played a recording of a letter that she had written to her daughter, whom she looks forward to meeting in heaven one day.

The family also distributed photos of their stillborn child's hand and feet. One of the photos bore this quote: "There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world."

"I feel a great sorrow and grief, and yet at the same time I have a peace in my heart," Michelle told People. "This is so sad, but I have peace. There are people praying for us and angels surrounding our home, and there was peace in the sorrow and the grief. Those feelings are mingled together."

Michelle reports that she is feeling well physically.

Regarding the memorial service, Jim Bob told People that "it was very healing, and we have precious memories." 

As Christmas draws near, the Duggars will spend time as a family, mourning the loss of their 20th child and just being together.

Jubilee Shalom Duggar Obituary

From the obituary of Jubilee Shalom Duggar:

Jubilee Shalom Duggar entered into the presence of Jesus Dec. 2, 2011. She was stillborn at 11:46 p.m. on Dec. 11, 2011, weighing 4 oz. and was 6 cm. in length.

Memorial Service for Jubilee Shalom

The memorial service for Jubilee Shalom Duggar, the 20th child of Jim Bob and Michelle, will be held on Wednesday, December 14th. Michelle's miscarriage occurred last night. Upon feeling lightheaded, she was taken to the hospital and is expected to be discharged later today.

In a statement to People, Jim Bob says:
"We have had many tears today. This is life, and I understand that we are going though something that many others have. You think about the what-ifs, but God gives us strength to go on. We won't be able to see this child's life and the phases that we've seen for our other children, but we know we will see this child in heaven one day. We are thankful for each child, and we are blessed to have the children we have here and the ones we will meet someday in heaven."

In the midst of this devastating miscarriage, the Duggars were still able to celebrate Josie's second birthday on Saturday. "We were looking forward to this birthday because it is a milestone for her," Jim Bob tells People. "It is wonderful that she is with us and doing so well."