Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Pressure to Wed?

Jana Duggar
Jana Duggar picks flowers from her garden


"Jana has a bunch of guys after her, and so I think it's just a matter of time 'till Mr. Right comes around."
-Jedidiah Duggar

It's Duggar Day! A new episode of Counting On premieres tonight at 9pm ET/8pm CT on TLC. This on is 60-minutes long, which will surely make fans smile. Check out this little teaser video, and be sure to tune in. If you have a TV provider that allows you to sign in online, you can watch the show now on the TLC website. Be sure to come back to our blog after the episode airs this evening for our written recap.  

 

Tuesday, October 22nd
9pm: The Vuolos Take LA NEW!
Jinger and Jeremy explore Los Angeles with new friends. While hiking, Jinger discusses her decision to wear pants, which is unusual for Duggar women. And could the boys' road trip be the last time they are all together before one of them starts a courtship?

Wednesday, October 23rd
1am: The Vuolos Take LA

Photo/video courtesy TLC

90 comments:

  1. For some women, there is no “Mr. Right.”

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    1. True, but since Jana is a woman who does want to get married, there is most likely a Mr Right out there somewhere for her. She seems to have high standards, which is not a bad thing, it may just take her a bit longer to find her man.

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    2. And for some men, there is no Mrs. Right. There's nothing wrong with staying single. You don't have to marry someone at 19 so you can have 19 kids in the next 19 years.

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    3. Lol, or "Mr. Good Enough"

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    4. I think Jana is a lovely young woman, but from her statements she has unrealistic expectations in a mate. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist and most of us realize that so we marry a somewhat lesser mortal.

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    5. @12:45 If there was someone that was right for her in the past, she would have married him. From what she said on the show, she most definately does not have unrealistic expectaions.

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    6. I love that she has high standards! I met my Mr Right when I was 32 and I am glad life had me wait till I was mature enough to start a serious relationship and be ready for a lifelong commitment. Seven years later, we are happily married with a kid and another due in December. I wish Jana the same kind of happiness !

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  2. Jana looks absolutely amazing in the above pic.

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  3. I believe Jill started the pants trend before Jinger did!

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    1. Nope, Jinger starter wearing them early 2017, and Jill late 2017

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    2. I'm not sure who was first, it's just nice to hear them address their feelings about the choice.

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    3. i totaly agree with you

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    4. It WAS Jinger who started branching out and wearing pants. Jill started following her soon after, and Jill added a nose ring along with her "pants wearing" self! Lol!! But Alyssa Bates wears skinny jeans with holes and super short dresses/skirts. So both families are modifying their modest standards anymore.

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  4. Jana is a beautiful person, inside and out. She's also smart and very talented. And I'm pretty sure she feels the pressure from FANS about her relationship status, or lack there of. I'm also sure she, as well as her parents and probably siblings, have been praying for her. And I'm almost positive they are all praying for her to be happy in whatever she choses to do. Whether it be to be married or to stay single. She's got a lot going on for hereself and I'm sure when and IF she wants to marry she will. Until then I think people should stop putting that pressure on her.

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    1. People are'nt putting pressure on her,she does'nt even know them,it's just that the family have made it obvious that getting married and having large families are their top priorities,besides people are thinking of her best interest,do you really think if Jana gets to old age and will never have experienced love and the joy of being a mom she will still be happy and content with her life,just like fans are concerned for Michael Keilen who so dearly wants children,it's because we care.

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    2. I respect Jana so much. She is her own person, with her own desires and expectations. She has grown into a multi-talented beautiful woman. I think the pressure comes from fans and those who try to “set her up.” Thank goodness she listens to God and her own heart and mind.

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  5. Jana looks great in this picture. Love the hat.

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  6. I can't wait to hear Jana talk about marriage and if she's waiting for Mr. Right. I'm sure she will do whatever makes her happy.:-)

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  7. I think Jana is a very pretty and nice woman. In time her Mr. Right will appear. I think its better to get married when you are more mature. For me, I married at the age of 22 and it was to young....

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  8. I get tired of the stigma attached to being single. People think there's something wrong with you if you aren't/don't get married, or you're gay. I'm single because I choose to be. Period. The end. And I am not gay. If you think there's something wrong with me, that's your problem. Period. The end. We aren't all supposed to be married or attached to someone. I believe the divorce rate and the constantly bad relationships people get into, and why people live together before marriage is because of this stigma. We have become so afraid of being single. And if Jana isn't included with her married friends and siblings/family because she is single, like it was said in the past, that is very sad.

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    1. I don't think there is anything wrong with you or Jana or anyone who is single in adulthood. But I also don't think that women exist for the sole purpose of being a wife and mother. In a culture that believed this, it is easy to see how an unmarried adult woman would be pitied.

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    2. In a fallen world its really tough to make heads or tales out of being single. Sin has really messed up just about everything, however if we look at creation, specifically Eve's creation I think we can find the answer of how it was meant for us to live.

      The Word of God says that it is not good for a man to be alone, therefore Eve was made from Adam to be a helpmate. This relationship is complimentary and necessary in a world without sin, so how much more necessary is it in one that is fallen? I have pity for both single men and single women as neither are fulfilled. And both are losing out on time together, a lot of the time by no fault of their own, but its still sad.

      It is clearly not a sin to be single, but I have no doubt that singleness is a product of the infection of Sin into our world. Is there a perfect someone for everyone? I believe that there still is, unfortunately due to a fallen world, they might have been aborted, or died, fallen for the wrong person, etc.

      It seems to me that biblically being a wife and a mother is infact the purpose of a woman, just as a mans purpose is to be a husband and a father. Honestly, what could be more important in this life other than our relationship with Jesus than that?

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    3. @ Texas You seriously think that abortion is denying some people a spouse later? Wow.

      Guess you don't know that there are naturally more men in the world than women, and that the numbers are never going to pair up evenly. The lovely picture you paint of everyone getting a spouse because Adam had one falls apart when you factor in the natural biology of gender.

      I can't even get into your statement about single people not being fulfilled. The Internet isn't big enough for that rebuttal.

      And too bad that Jesus, a male, never fulfilled what you call "man's purpose." At least not what your Bible tells.

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    4. Texas- There have been many people, male and female, throughout history who have never been married, yet they managed to contribute a great deal to the human race. Just to name a few... Beethoven, the Wright Brothers, Helen Keller, Henry David Thoreau, Louisa May Alcott, Clara Barton, Isaac Newton, Nannie Helen Burroughs, and Susan B. Anthony. I think it presumptuous to imply that any of them somehow missed their true purpose by never getting married and having
      children. Furthermore, not everyone takes everything in the Bible literally.

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    5. @Texas, This response is in regard to your last paragraph. While humans may have the plumbing required to reproduce, this does not automatically mean that an individual brain is wired accordingly. This has nothing to do with the infection of sin or anything abnormal, rather simply the complexities and uniqueness of the human brain. The problem I see with your comment is that I feel you are not so subtly implying that people who never marry and have children are defying God. You're also projecting your own feelings about singleness being a sad thing. I know from experience that this type of religious dogmatism and intimidation is what can sabatoge relationships and alienate people. I'm an older woman who has enjoyed being married and raising a family, but have also enjoyed having a long and satisfying professional career. I recognize that what has worked for me does not work for everyone. I also know there are those who have no desire to be married and are very content with their lives. It's not up to me or you to decide who is sad and unfulfilled and who isn't because of our prejudices. Neither is it up to you to determine who follows you idea of God's word and who doesn't. The Bible has been the source of conflict and controversy for generations and I think everyone is pretty much flying by the seat of their pants. BTW, wasn't Jesus himself single?

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    6. @October 26, 6:07PM I believe you've missed the point of my post and I'll take the fault on that, I'm by no means a writer. My perspective comes from my belief in the God of the Bible and my comment is taking a look at the world based on those beliefs and teaching held within its pages. If that isn't for you, no harm no foul, just a difference in opinion. I can't honestly argue against your statement when our foundations for our statements are completely different. If you would like to have a conversation on how the Bible tells us we ought to live and prioritize our lives then I welcome that. However for this topic an agree to disagree on the grounds of different moral foundations is in order.

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    7. @October 25, 8:53 I never at any point stated that a single or married individual was incapable of doing great things regardless of their situation. As stated in my original post I said that my goal was to look at the Bibles perfect situation, IE the garden before the fall.

      On your note on the literal interpretation of the Bible, you are of course quite right. Anyone who does not believe in the God of the Bible is perfectly free to do so. However, for those who do call Him Lord, He is either all powerful and all knowing or He isn't. Therefore, when He says that the Bible is divinely inspired and good for gaining wisdom it is either a true statement, or it isn't. You can't straddle the fence here.

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    8. @October 25, 8:12PM - Please read the original intent of my statement as a look into what the Bible says about the relationship between a man and woman at the time of Creation, before the fall.

      What happened as a result of the fall and what was necessary to redeem man is a separate subject.

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  9. People shouldn’t assume Jana wants to get married. Not everyone wants the same things in life.

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    1. I agree with your premise, however Miss Duggar has stated that she has a desire to marry and start a family on many occasions.

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    2. Texas, It's possible that Jana simply stated what she thought was expected of her. I doubt she'd be comfortable coming right out and saying she has no interest in getting married, if that were the case (and I'm not saying that it is.)

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  10. From what we’ve seen of the family and Jana, Jana is not going about her life based on what makes her happy but what is God’s will and path for her life. She will one day marry, it will be on God’s timing and terms. I pray that God will protect her mind and heart until that day.

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  11. I don’t think her family is pushing her. Her “fans” definitely are though. Don’t listen to those people, Jana! Follow God not people

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  12. So Michelle is doing God's will by not wearing pants and not letting her daughters wear pants. Jinger is doing God's will and wearing pants. I don't get it.

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    1. Ya that didn't make a whole lot of theological sense to me either. God is not the author of confusion.

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    2. Yeah Anonymous, I'm pretty confused too. All four girls stated unequivocably in their book Growing Up Duggar that it was each girl's own personal conviction from the Lord to wear skirts and dresses, not pants. The Duggar girls were emphatic that it was not being forced on them by their parents (either parent), but it was their own personal, individual heartfelt conviction. So, did God change His mind in 2017? No. He clearly says in His Word, "I am the Lord; I change not.". He also says in His Word that He is not the author of confusion- which is what their "testimony" of modesty is...confused. It's left a whole lot of impressionable young ladies and girls confused too, whose parents took those girls to hear the Duggars speak at Family Conferences, Journey to the Heart, COMMIT, Rise Up, and homeschooling conferences. It's affected all those parents and young ladies who bought both the Duggars' books and Growing Up Duggar (and waited in line for book signings). All the young ladies and their parents, who watched the CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) interviews, the TODAY show interviews, and read the People magazine "exclusives" have been affected by this. It's impacted all those young ladies and their families who've been avid fans and viewers of their shows for years. It's a very big deal when people claimed a close walk with the Lord and publicly proclaimed a modesty platform based on skirts and dresses to impressionable young ladies, only to have those self-appointed role models change their minds (because God doesn't change His) on a foundational, core belief. It is a big deal.

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    3. Sometimes the expectations we set for ourselves depend on our understanding of our uniquely personal relationship with the Lord. Adam and Eve covered up with what was available in nature. Michelle felt most comfortable serving God in skirts. Jinger feels her relationship with God is best served with dresses or pants. Because of Christ’s time here, God loves us and understands the dilemmas humans have. Jinger feels very strongly that she has a faithful relationship with the Lord; and, Michelle said that touches her heart more than anything. It’s the relationship that is most important. For Christians, because of that powerful bond, lhat loves and forgives, we do God’s will out of gladness, as best we can, with our limited knowledge, and God is pleased.

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    4. Also using God as an excuse to wear pants is ridiculous. Jinger said God lead her in her conviction to wear pants? Ummm, I think that was her decision BECAUSE it’s what she really want to wear! So then Jinger, let’s hear about the short shorts……It’s funny how she was convicted the second she was married in her clothing choices.

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    5. When you read the Bible or pray to God you may feel he is guiding in a certain direction. We are humans and can miss-interpret but we believe we are doing God's will. Another individual may come to a different belief on a particular area. Some things at pretty clear but there can be smaller differences in opinion regarding scripture. If you look to scripture you may get some things wrong but looking to scripture for guidance will make the big things clear. We have here two people who are interpreting one section differently. Simple as that.

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    6. @Anonymous October 23, 9:26PM - I don't want to start an argument, but while we have a unique personal relationship with the Lord, the Lord is not unique to each person. God doesn't change his mind, He wouldn't be God if He did. The entire premise of this conviction is not to temp men with thoughts that cannot be righteously fulfilled. This is biblically backed argument against certain clothing. To at one point say this is the standard because X, which in my understanding was that pants, shorts, short skirts, etc show off your body, whether that is in flesh, or in outline. Pants, unless they are several sizes too big, especially for girls aren't going to leave many curves to the imagination. (I'm trying not to be vulgar in description, we are hopefully all adults and can understand whats being said between the lines) Jinger's new "conviction" I can say with the utmost certainty isn't coming from the God of the Bible, it has no theological basis and no logical basis when being compared to the goal of the original conviction.

      At the end of the day I want my fellow Christians and myself to measure themselves and their beliefs against the bible rather than one another. We have a call to represent God to this earth. This is a rebuke, not a judgement. With that being said, I do hope she repents for putting the decision to wear pants and go against this conviction on the lips of the Father. God is quite clear on how He feels about false doctrine.

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    7. Satan does create confusion even in Christian families
      ..especially in Christian families!

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    8. 1:45: same thoughts here...she’s reasoning it out saying God leads her when clearly she and Jeremy was wanting it.

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    9. Texas, thank you for laying that out so clearly, concisely, honestly, and lovingly. You captured exactly what I've been thinking all along on not just the pants issue, but a lot of things in my own walk with God. The reality is that if I say I love God, then I have to be willing to obey God...even when I might have a different idea about how I want to do something. It all comes down to He is God and I am a human being. He allowed His own Son to be sacrificed for the things I've done. He has a right to expect certain things of me. He is holy; I am not. He's been around forever and will continue to be; not so with me. He deserves my love- I deserved punishment; He sent His Son who traded places with me. He deserves my respect and honor. He is trustworthy, so I can obey Him and do things His way, knowing He's got my best interest at heart. If He says something is a "no"-I need to honor that because He is everything I am not in and of myself-all wise, all knowing, holy, without sin, and loves me (He proved that on the Cross).

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    10. Anonymous @ 10:31- I really liked your comment because it's so true. I recently read an article that was so true. All sin begins with a lie, whether it's a lie from the devil (like when he lied to Eve in the Garden of Eden about God's character and motivation) or whether it's us lying to ourselves first and then to others trying to justify what we want to do. We'll try to "reason" it out, using our spouse/friends/significant other/family members as a sounding board trying to convince ourselves and them that what we want to do is right or good...when really we know it's not. We're hoping by someone else approving/supporting it, that somehow "proves" it's o.k. to do it. The problem is that God didn't approve it and we usually don't go to Him and ask because we already know it's not o.k. with Him. We tell ourselves little lies like it's o.k. because the culture/everyone is doing it, it's o.k. because it's not as bad as what some people are doing, or at least we're not doing [fill in some much bigger, obvious sin]. The truth is that we're pretty good at deceiving ourselves, if it's something we really want to do. My husband once explained this to our young daughter by drawing an angle on a piece of paper. The very narrow < point was where we were walking closely with God and obeying Him. The more we compromise and lie to ourselves and others, the farther we get from God...until pretty soon, we're very far from God wondering what happened to us.

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  13. Time 12:50PM Tues 10/22/19
    I hope 1 day Jana starts a courtship.

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  14. The Lord's ways are not our own, nor are our plans always in line with His, I just pray she's happy. No doubt she would make a wonderful wife to a good and honest man. I certainly admire her faith and there is a gentleness about her character that I've had difficulty finding in others our age.

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  15. Jana is still very young & has her whole life ahead of her. Whether she chooses to marry if she finds the right person or stays single, then that’s her choice & we should all stop speculating on it & just let her live her life as she sees fit. I’m sure she has many things going on in her life that we know nothing about & good on her for keeping what she wants private. As Iv said many times before JB & Michelle wanted lots of kids & had the rules about pants & modesty & that does not mean to say every one of their 19 children will follow in the same life path. It’s time we all let these young people branch out & do what they want not what we expect them to do judging by their parents, & when they do other things let’s not admonish them for it.

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  16. Isn't is just SICK & disgusting that people freak and worry about a women because she is single?!!! I mean how RUDE to continue and hound her and ask her why she isn't married- does she want to get married- when are you going to get married! My gosh- IF it happens, it will happen at the right time. In the meantime, I would assume she is living a full and enjoyable life and getting to grow into her own person. A man will not complete her that's for sure! I feel for her. I waited to have children! I was hounded and looked down on because I didn't do it on OTHERS interpretation of when I was supposed to have kids. I just wish people would stop judging and putting their BIG nose where it does not belong. I hope this is what she basically says on the show! :D

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  17. So proud of you, Jana! We are about the same age, and I know the pressure that there can be within the church to marry by a certain age. I can only imagine that you may feel that pressure all the more as your younger siblings get married! God's timing is the best, and He is going to bring our spouses along, in His perfect time and way!

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    1. I remember feeling that pressure...in my case it came on the heels of a broken engagement. I decided to take that time to work on my relationship with the Lord and never regretted it. Mr. Right came along, completely out of the blue. I wasn't looking for him and went to God to make sure because it was so unexpected. I'm glad I had that time because only God deserves first place in my heart and in my life. When you're in right relationship with God and living to honor Him, He changes who you are and that changes the way you view every other person in your life and those you come in contact with. You start seeing the people in your life the way He does, with His love, His compassion and you start practicing having His patience and His concern for them. You begin wanting what's best for them more than what's best for you. Jana should be using this time to know God better. She'll be better for it and so will every relationship she has with any other person.

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  18. Uh ya, Jill wears pants, why is that an issue? Actually, you think pants would be more modest, or mabye not because it shows your curves more?

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    1. Pants definitely show curves and outline certain things.

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    2. 5:47 So what? Men wear pants that show curves and outline certain things, too. Perhaps they should wear dresses- never know what kind of desires can be stirred up in a gal that can't be righteously fulfilled! Better yet, let's have everyone cover up from head to toe with gunny sacks and remove all chances that anyone will be recognized as a man or woman!

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    3. @Anon Oct 24, 8:14 Instead of being hyperbolic why not have a reasonable conversation so that what is best for both sexes in the need to avoid sin can be understood and implemented.

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    4. @Texas Instead of being so concerned with what others choose to wear, I think people should concentrate on being responsbile for their own thoughts and actions and stop looking for someone else to blame for their own failures.

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  19. There's nothing wrong with being single, but I'm sure Jana does feel some pressure to wed. I just hope she isn't lonely. It's one thing to be around your family, but quite another to want to have someone to call your own. I think it's hard to find a good spouse in this day and age.

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  20. I’m sure she is so sick of people asking her that folks need to leave her alone it’s jusf like asking women are u having any kids ? U never know the answer u gonna get..maybe she don’t wanna get married, maybe she ain’t found the right one .maybe her parents want her to stay home and help out with younger siblings and she agrees who knows ..leave her alone !

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  21. Love Jana's hat. She will find her Mr. Right when the time comes.

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  22. She looks beautiful. If she does marry, she will be a gorgeous bride.

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  23. Jana is a strong, independent woman and she seems okay just being a daughter/sister/aunt until she comes across a man that will be able to be her partner.

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  24. Somehow I find it hard to believe Jana has all these men pursuing her. I'm not sure what's going on with her but her fans are more eager for her to marry than she seems to be.

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    1. It's not that difficult to understand. I had seven boyfriends before dating my future husband. We've been married for 29 years. The difference for Jana is that the viewers don't get to see all of her suitors. Smart lady.

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    2. 7:40, it’s not that hard to understand. I know of six different men in my young adult group who are currently interested in me, and while I see them all as friends, I have no interest in dating any of them.

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    3. Anonymous @ 8:06 and Anonymous @ 10:29-While that may be true, I'd guess neither of you had/has a father: personally interviewing those guys and their families about their belief system, filling out a questionnaire (literally) to determine his financial status and future earning potential and ability to support you and any children, requiring a chaperone (or several) to accompany you on every date (with your mom and dad being the chaperones at least once), and a TV crew tagging along to record it for the world to watch after your date has signed the required secrecy contracts and network disclosures. It's not quite the same thing. LOL

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  25. Jana always does that huge deep breath every time she's asked about marriage. Either she's really aggravated about being asked, or she's really fearful about marriage and she's having a bit of a panic attack at the thought.

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    1. How funny it would be if she were already married!!!

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    2. Or maybe she's esasperated about the fact that it had to be her that had to be left on the shelf,"why could'nt I have found mr right sooner so I would'nt need to answer."It's a possibility she wanted to get married just as much as her sisters but unfortunately was'nt attracted to any of the men that were interested in her.

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    3. Agreed, Anonymous @ 9:45 AM. You can visibly see her composing her answer and carefully choosing her response each time it comes up. You can't blame people for asking though. It's her family that's made it such an issue in the way they've placed such an emphasis on young courtship, early marriage, and bearing lots of children. Jim Bob and Michelle used their public platform to draw attention to their personal value system. Unfortunately for Jana, as the oldest daughter and still unmarried, it puts her directly in the cross hairs of public attention. I don't pity her, but I feel badly that her parents' very public behavior causes her undue attention and personal stress.

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    4. @ 8:30 It doesn't help that her father jokes about this in public and tells people in the audience at his talks that she's still single. I'd be mortified if my father did that.

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  26. Maybe when she takes that breath she is just choosing her words. My sister is like that when I ask a difficult question. She says I'm not ignoring you or judging you just choosing the right words.

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  27. I think Jana had trouble articulating her feelings/comments last night. She seemed to become tongue tied and hesitated in some responses. I felt bad. I’m feel like she has plenty of confidence; but maybe believed she should respond to certain life questions using words her parents expect to hear. Relax Jana, just speak honestly and from your heart.

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    1. She usually speaks hesitantly in the q&a sessions and doesn't seem like she enjoys answering questions.

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    2. I don’t blame her! Especially if her answers are scripted for her!!!

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    3. Not only that, but one of Michelle's house rules for her children posted on the wall is to never give a bad report about someone. She considers it a sin for both the person to speak it and the person hearing it. (It's an IBLP teaching principle)

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  28. Jana is so beautiful. It is her choice to stay single and not rush into marriage. It is better that Jana is happy with her life and not rushed into a marriage that could make her life miserable.
    Joan,Marion and Marilyn

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    1. That's true but remember that he has to be approved by her father too

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  29. I think Jana is sick of being asked the same question every single season! There’s no rush to find someone

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  30. she is so pretty why dont we try to help the duggars find the mr right. not literly help but pray for her and the one who will be her mr right. maybe shes not ready

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  31. I didn't meet my husband until I was 30 and we didn't get married until I was 34. That is positively ancient by society's standards, because most people I know got married right out of college, or at least by 25 or 26. Yes, I had my moments where I cried and was upset and wondered if there was anybody out there for me, or was I running out of time. Little did I know that God had picked out such a wonderful man for me, that he was totally worth the wait. It didn't happen on my time, but it happened on God's time and that was infinitely better. It's the same with Jana. she's definitely not "too old." Better to wait on God

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    1. Thank you for your story, it ain't just you ladies that feel the weight of a spouse not coming along on our timeline. I know His timing is perfect, sometimes I do wish "perfect" would gitty on up already.

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    2. My great-aunt, who I deeply respected, never married. She always repeated this when asked why not: "I was looking for the perfect man and when I thought he'd come along, it turned out he was looking for the perfect woman." The point being that no one is perfect.

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  32. It is amazing to me that grown adults, married and with children, would have such an emotional reaction to wearing pants like EVERYONE else does. I just feel bad that so much guilt was created over something that does not matter.

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    1. I think it is because it was expected of them. These young, married adults grew up in the spotlight and that is hard because people will watch and critique every little thing. They were expected to have higher standards due to their Christian faith so maybe for Jinger, asking about wearing pants was a big deal because of what wearing dresses represented when she and the others were little girls.

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    2. Not "everyone" wears pants. My husband is only 35 years old and grew up in a fundamental family and I'm amazed when I visit the family and friends events that they ALL are in long black drab dresses. No dancing. No reading fiction books (even classics) because they are lies. No TV. Way more extreme than anything the Duggars show publicly. So if they are like my in-laws in private, then these are huge issues for them to work out. At least they are moving into a more moderate direction.

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  33. I think Jana should show everyone and run off to elope someday. Do away with the big televised wedding spectacle and all the pressures that comes with it. She doesn't seem like the type that would enjoy that anyway. Hope her family doesn't push her to do that for ratings or $$$$$$$.

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    1. That's a wish I think a lot of people have, to let these kids get married privately without 1001 guests and 101 TV cameras. What you remember about your wedding shouldn't be how big of a production it was or what a boost for a TV show it was.

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  34. I think Jana is enjoying this time in her life. She doesn't have so many family responsibilities and she has the time to pursue her interests in life.
    She's problem relishing the free she's never had until now.

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