Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Michelle on Daughters Wearing Pants

Michelle Duggar and Jinger Duggar Vuolo
On last night's new episode of Counting On, Michelle addressed a question that has been on the minds of fans for many months: What does she think about the choice that some of her married daughters have made to wear pants?

After becoming a born-again Christian as a teenager, Michelle began reading the Bible and praying and was soon convicted to change the way she dressed. "And so the best that I knew, and how I understood, I obeyed my Lord, and I just felt like I should wear dresses and skirts," the Duggar mom shared on last night's episode. "My girls, I just dressed them in dresses and skirts, as well, being that that was my personal conviction. I think that part of it was just more of…Mama’s the mama, and I’m raising my girls to be modest and honor the Lord in how they represent themselves."

Jinger Vuolo told viewers that she spoke with her parents before making the switch from solely skirts and dresses to a mix of skirts, dresses, and pants. They were not upset. Rather, they encouraged her to walk with the Lord, honor Him, and maintain modesty.

A few tears were shed as Jinger and Michelle spoke about the issue on reality TV. "I’m really thankful for my mom, and I know the tears probably are because we are super close, and just knowing that we have different convictions on this aspect but that she still loves me the same, that just means the world,” says Jinger.
 
Michelle gave a few final remarks: "It’s okay that my kids may have different convictions than me,” says Michelle. “I know that He’s leading them, and that’s the most important thing, is their walk, their relationship, with God. And I honestly can say, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. You’re so precious, Jing!”

If you enjoy this blog, be sure to visit Ellie's other blogs (NashvilleWife.com and BatesFamilyBlog.com).

Photo courtesy jingerandjeremy.com

99 comments:

  1. I always had the feeling that Jinger talked to her parents before she wore pants. Jill probably did too.

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  2. I loved this episode and I am glad they talked about this. I always understood that as adults some may practice their faith differently and wear pants but it was good to hear Michelle's thoughts on it.

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  3. I am glad Michelle and Jinger have such a close bond.I like how Jinger was still respectful of her parents. That must of been challenging to do.May God continue to bless them all!

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    1. You are right,what people don't understand about Jinger changing rules is that she had to respect her parents while compromising with her husband who had very different upbringing to her,her parents knew they had to compromise in order for their children to marry as there arent many families similar to them to marry into,and I can't see Jeremy giving up listening to Backstreet boys.

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  4. Michelle seemed totally accepting with Jinger’s decision. Michelle said it herself; she read the Bible and interpreted from some verses females should wear dresses and skirts. It was her decision. They came across totally at ease with this topic. More important things in the world to concern ourselves with than Jinger wearing pants!!!

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  5. Pants cover your entire legs. Wearing a skirt/dress exposes the legs. How is wearing pants "not modest"??

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    1. It's not the coverage so much as it is that pants outline a lot more of the lower body than a skirt does.

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    2. Pants show every curve and skirts do not.

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    3. I think the issue with pants is that they show the shape of your body (rear end and hips), where dresses float over top and sort of hide the shape.

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    4. Pants show curves unless you wear a longer shirt over it. Yes, I know the same can be said for tight skirts but skirt thing is also about not dressing as much like a man.

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    5. I agree, however they make those skinny Jeans that show every curve. Or low cut, boot cut, etc.. they can't just be simple and make pants anymore lol

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    6. Wait but then why do the girls wear regular unisex t shirts like football team shirts and slogan shirts and such? Isn’t that “dressing like a man?” Methinks these people can keep their logic straight.

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    7. 3:25- Not dressing like a man? Wardrobes for men and women have changed over time and across cultures for centuries. To say that pants should be just for men is simply one's own biased and narrow outlook. There is nothing in the Bible that states pants are only for men to wear.

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    8. Men wear skirts in Scotland. They're called kilts, and they're very much respected as traditional clothing for men.

      The Roman soldiers who arrested Jesus would have been wearing uniforms with skirts, and Jesus would have been wearing what looked like a dress.

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  6. My heart ached a bit for Jinger when she talked about Michelle loving her even if she wore pants. Behind that is anxiety, insecurity, and fear of conditional love. No child- adult or not- should feel that about wearing pants. I am so glad that Michelle reassured her and made it clear she is loved the same as always. We all walk with the Lord our way. Jinger is not hurting herself or the Lord or others by following her conviction in this. She is still modest, Godly and humble. She is still following values and principles that to me are far more important than wearing pants. I felt this discussion really showed the strong influences that Michelle and Jim Bob have been to their children and the love and respect their adult children have for them. You could see in the pics of Jinger while her parents visited her in LA that she compromises her clothing when she is with them. The pic of her with Felicity on the beach show her wearing a dress with leggings. Like all adult children moving away from their parents into their own lives, Jinger and the other adult children are sorting out what are their personal convictions and what are their parents. No fan of the Duggars should expect each adult child to exactly reflect Michelle's and JimBob's convictions. There should be no criticisms of the convictions the adult children have that are reflected differently with different choices than their parents. Eileen

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    1. I agree Eileen, I heard and saw total mutual respect.

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    2. I think the issue most people have here is that they cowrote books and spoke at conferences stating why they wear dresses. I understand changes happen as you get older and maybe the girls shouldn't have been such a huge part of that as it does create a bit of confusion and controversy

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  7. As an adult, I don't understand the need to discuss wardrobe decisions with their parents.

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    1. Maybe so. But the Bible is very clear about honoring your parents, even as adults. I think it is very honorable and sensitive for Jinger to discuss it with her mom.

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    2. Exactly. It's just hype for the show

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    3. Jinger was being respectful of her mother's convictions. She was raised to dress a certain way and desired to make a change. I'm sure it was difficult and emotional, no one wants to disappoint their parents....so glad to hear that was not the case. Jinger was not seeking shock value by just doing what she wanted without understanding. I often wondered when they were children if any of the girls were embarrassed by their clothing being so out of style, the boys wore jeans and shirts and got to look modern and more typical in public. As Michelle said she did what she thought was right for her and now they are grown ups and get to decide for themselves.

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    4. I don't think she was asking permission or anything, I think she was just letting them know her reasons for veering in a different direction. I think it's just a way to let her parents know they'll be seeing a change and to show respect to them.

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    5. I'm sure Michelle and Jim knew their daughters would grow and change and think on their own and have differing opinions. That is supposed to happen, but they all had a good Christian foundation that they live daily and model for their kids

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    6. Remember, when a woman gets married, you leave your mother and father and cleave to your husband. Jinger didnt have to ask permission or feel less guilty about wearing pants.

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    7. 9:53, no, the Bible makes it clear that CHILDREN need to honor their parents, and that married couples run their own households. Jinger is no longer under the rule of her parents, and the fact that she felt the need to ask permission before making a wardrobe change saddens me. I can fully understand her telling them that she has chosen to wear different clothing, but to feel the need to ask permission, and worrying that they would love her less for choosing to do so....

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    8. If anyone really thought that these Duggar kids would all grow up to fall in line with everything their parents believed and practiced, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Their mistake was writing about it in their books, as it's come back to bite them.

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    9. You also aren’t the adult of a Christian couple who have been on TV for 15 years with the girls only wearing skirts or dresses.

      Frankly I think Jinger and Michelle had to make a statement because of all the hate and constant conjecture in comment sections like these.

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    10. 6:37 I think when the book was written the girls felt that way....things changed over time and after they married.

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  8. It is more modest to wear pants while hiking. I don't understand how Michelle doesn't think it is.
    You are completely covered in pants bending stooping etc. On windy day a dress or skirt can blow up,not very modest then.
    You don't have to wear skin tight pants. I am glad some of married Duggar girls wear pants. Pants are so more appropriate and modest in a lot of different activities.

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    1. They wear leggings under skirts when doing active things.

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    2. I’m still waiting to see them wear something other than skin tight pants. Skinny jeans are skin tight and that’s what Jinger loves to wear.

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    3. 10:08, and she still looks very modest and pretty while doing so. There is nothing wrong with wearing skinny jeans, just like there is nothing wrong with wearing shorts, a bathing suit, workout clothes, etc. If you feel personally convicted not to wear certain clothing, then YOU shouldn’t wear them, but don’t try to force your convictions onto others.

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    4. 10:08 I think Jinger wants to blend in with her peers. I don't find her fashion choices offensive....it's between her and her husband.

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    5. 10:08 is so right. Jinger's pants (if you can call them that) are as tight as leggings.

      6:24 you may think the choices are between her and her husband, but unfortunately, they aren't the only two people who see the result of that decision.

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    6. Silly argument, I’ve hiked up a mountain wearing a jean skirt, totally long enough to be completely modest, easy to walk in, and no, it didn’t “blow up” or expose anything. I’ve heard these type of arguments all my life, if you want to wear pants, then wear them, don’t make arguments like this against wearing skirts, they just aren’t true. I’ve also rode a horse completely modestly and safely in a skirt, it can be done just wear the right skirt. :)

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  9. So, wearing pants is not immodest, because Michelle is now ok with Jinger wearing them. Good to know.

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  10. There,now trolls can stop making out that Michelle and Jim Bob are narrow minded and controlling,we fans know that they just want to lead their kids the best they can,and they do let them make their own decisions when they marry,I mean look at Jill,she's obviously using birth control and they are fine with it,its their life.

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    1. @4:54 Please explain then why the girls always claimed it was their OWN decision to wear skirts growing up, when Michelle just went on record saying it was HER decision that her girls dress like that?

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    2. I think many of their kids may decide to use birth control. Lots of new and much more effective and safer types available today than 25 or 30 years ago.

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    3. If Michelle and Jim Bob are supposedly fine with their married daughters wearing pants and jeans, why did they make such a big deal about only wearing skirts and dresses when they all lived at home? If it wasn't an issue, then the girls should have been able to wear what they wanted all along.

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    4. That's a big assumption to voice. She could possibly be having a harder time getting pregnant or dealing with miscarriages. Just because she has had 2 healthy boys doesn't guarantee anything as far as future babies. Claiming she's "obviously using birth control" could be very hurtful.

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    5. Anon 2:51 I was wondering the samething. It was clearly Michelle's rules and some of the girls although they said it was their choice really wanted a different dress code and lifestyle. They were probably told by Michelle to say it was their choice and convictions.

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    6. I wore skirts as a teen. It honored my parents plus at the time I too believed it was more modest. As I grew older, I changed my views. Anything can be immodest. It depends on how you wear it. A lot of times it takes becoming an adult and being out of your parents’ house before you start to view things through your own eyes.

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    7. 2:51AM: Perhaps it was Michelle's conviction and decision to dress her daughters in dresses when they were little. When the daughters were teenagers, it became their own conviction (like their book said). But now that they are adults, they've re-examined those passages in the Bible and have interpreted it their own way, and some of them have decided that wearing pants is ok.
      I've changed a lot of my thinking since I was a teenager.

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    8. I think the family is nothing like who they were portraying themselves to be on tv. I don't think they are any different then any other reality family and the older kids are proving that.

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    9. There's a definite difference between a "belief" and a "personal conviction". A conviction from God is a no- go on whatever the issue is. It is in effect, God saying to the individual"Do Not [do whatever the issue is]". It is pretty specific. As a young Christian who hadn't been saved long,growing up in a modern household, I "believed" in modesty. I felt somewhat conspicuous wearing my teeny bikini and my cheerleading skirt in public, but liked the attention it got me. Then came the day my Pastor taught on sexual sin, and how both men and women often tempted each other with their clothing and behavior, how neither loved the other and had their best interest at heart when they were encouraging the other to sin and using the other person. I felt personally convicted, as I was definitely doing that and didn't want to "show off my body" nor put ideas into a guy's head he didn't need and I had no business encouraging. Thirty-four years later, my conviction is still the same- no bikinis, short skirts & shorty-shorts, skinny jeans, or tight anything (top or bottom, pregnant or not). No never means yes. Beliefs change; convictions don't.

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    10. 2:51 -- When they wrote that book, the girls did have that conviction. That's how they were raised. Now that they are out of the house and married, adults, their views have changed.

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    11. Actually, convictions can change. What's right for one season may not be right for another. A young woman may feel convicted to obey house rules when living with her parents, but convicted to follow where the Lord leads her when off on her own or married.

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  11. It’s good to see one of the kids find their own way of living their life, and having their parents support. The kids shouldn’t feel like they have to be carbon copies of JB and Michelle. They can lead their own lives and have their own way of doing things while still being upstanding Godly people. I am glad that Jinger and some of the others feel comfortable doing things their own way

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    1. I look at it a little different then you do. I for one don't have problem with someone reinventing themselves like she did but the problem I have is when you have a book for sale that you wrote as a young adult (not a child) about the why's of dressing a certain way and how it is so important and how it is such a strong conviction of yours and then we see them same people walking around in pink dyed hair and skinny jeans and blouses they once said weren't modest and your book is still for sale, well that's a problem. I wouldn't be ok as a Mom with my daughter's making money off a book that says one thing and my daughter's are doing the polar opposite. I would have told my daughter's to get the book off the market since it is showing such hypocrisy in their lives and is now a negative reflection on the family. Michelle is just fine with this but what about our girls who paid for and read that book?, I don't want that do as I say but not as I do attitude for our girls.

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    2. She wrote that book years ago, and people change. You change as you grow. I read that book too and the heart of the book is building solid relationships with those around you, not whether or not you wear pants. Jinger is still the Godly woman who wrote that book, even if she’s changed a little. I for one think it’s healthy to change and create your own life for yourself, and also create new convictions for your own family. I see it as a sign of maturity that the girls can keep their core values while figuring out how they might live a bit differently from their parents.

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    3. Anon 10:51 I agree with you and I find that is one of the biggest problems I run into when witnessing to non Christians, is them seeing people who call themselves Christians saying one thing and then doing something else. That really has to stop in the Christian community. I will add one more thing and that is you do not become less modest as you get a little older, but as a Christian you see more of the importance of the need to be modest.

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    4. It isn’t hypocrisy if the girls believed that at the time they wrote the book. They have since become adults with their own families. They have spouses who influence their thinking plus their own experiences. It is fine to change what you believe if it isn’t something specifically written in the Bible. I don’t believe that the verse about wearing clothing pertaining to a man is referring to pants like I did when I was young. There is a distinct difference between men and women’s clothing even in pants.

      Just because some of them choose to wear pants now does not mean that everything in the book is invalid. There are a lot of books for sale when people have changed their opinions on different topics as they have grown and learned more.

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    5. 10:51, hey there, this is the opinion of someone who payed for and read the books in my midteen years. At one time those WERE the Duggar girls’ convictions, or at least they thought they were. And while the girls were not children when they wrote the books, they might as well have been living in the environment that they were in. I see no reason for the girls to pull the books from shelves as #1; no one is forced to buy them #2; there were still SOME good tidbits of advice in the books (very few, but some) and #3; we can read the books at look at how far the girls have come. The books still being on the selves does not show hypocrisy on the girls part, it shows growth, and that after they left home they were finally able to think for themselves as adults.

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    6. If they sold books and spoke at seminars on modest dressing then completely changed their minds, then all the money they made doing that should be refunded. Changed their minds about pants but didn't change their minds about taking money?

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    7. 9:19 think about your life....don't know how old you are, I am 60 and my values, beliefs and convictions are certainly different than they were at 20. How important are dresses vs pants in the full scope of life.....low end of the totem pole. Let's say when you were twenty you went to church A...participated, tithed, and sang in the choir. Now your beliefs and convictions have changed and today you attend church B....should church A have to give all your tithes back....of course not. Is any 20 something qualified to write a book directing others....would you refuse to accept your own kids if at 25 the statements they made at 20 were no longer valid. We are morphing and changing constantly......perhaps you should donate $10 for every time you've changed your mind.

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  12. when jinger said she chose to wear pants for the hike, i thought that was the most sensible decision modesty wise. i get that they're used to doing everything in skirts but you also dont want to 'flash' anyone either. for quite a while now, the younger girls have been wearing pants/leggings under their skirts, something the older girls never did

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    1. The older girls did wear leggings under their skirts and dresses. Check out some of the older episodes you'll see.

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  13. So, why are they only now explaining the discrepancy to their fan/viewer base years later? If it's such a simple, easy thing and there was "no problem", why has it taken them this long to acknowledge it? This makes zero sense.

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    1. Continuing to find fault makes zero sense, imho. May God Bless the Duggar family. ❤

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    2. This type of "controversy" keeps their fans watching.

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    3. It actually does make sense. Jinger and Jill are the only ones who have publicly worn pants, and Jill didn't start doing it until she was off the show. Jinger has only recently appeared in pants on the show.

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    4. Because people keep bringing it up.
      Honestly, no matter what they do people will never be happy.

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    5. They do not "owe" anyone an explanation about private family matters. We are fans ....that's it.. .we can't feel entitled to more than the show.

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    6. @11:41 Those "private" family matters were discussed openly on their show and in their books and they've made a great deal of money by sharing. The Duggars also enjoy giving their testimonies about what it means to be a Godly Christian. It stands to reason that people would expect some kind of explanation when glaring contradictions come to light.

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    7. Anon 11:41 If you are making a living off of people then you should feel a sense of accountability to them same people. The fact there that it took this long for them to even mention the discrepancy in their books and conference messages from how they were actually living says a lot about how they feel towards all the people who forked out money for these things.

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  14. They have always said it was their personal convictions..same with courting standards.. they always said each couple set their own standards

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    1. But how much have they really let each couple set their own standards??

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    2. Something you have to understand is that when you are raised in that type of environment, many of your thoughts are not your own, and you don’t even realize it. This is always made so clear when the girls from these families finally get out from under the ultraconrolling households of their parents, and finally start to figure things out for themselves. So when people make rude comments saying things like the Duggar girls were “lying” in their books talking about “their” modesty standards, they need to realize that while at that time the girls fully meant what they were saying, they weren’t truly THEIR standards, but what had been force fed to them by their parents their whole lives.

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    3. 9:46, thank you for your comment. You presented a side to the issue that many never thought of. When your parents tell you something is wrong (wearing pants etc) & you hear that your whole life, the tendency is to believe it completely without question. After all, why would your parents lie to you? I think we can all cite instances in our own lives where we left behind some of our parent’s beliefs that had been instilled in us after realizing it wasn’t sinful to do so. So I agree, the girls weren’t lying in their books. They were just regurgitating what had been drilled into their heads.

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    4. 7:09, read 9:46 response & there you will have the answer to your question.

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    5. I appreciate your response, 9:46, and it shows the importance of knowing the difference between Biblical absolutes & preferences. As a Christian family, we strive to raise our children with a firm understanding of the Gospel and ask “What does the Bible say about...”. Modesty is the command, and how that looks in regards to the skirts/pants subject is a preference. So much wasted time and judgment towards this family-a distraction over such a trivial matter.

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  15. The most important part of that discussion for me was when Michelle explained that what made her the most joyful was seeing Jinger walk in a true relationship with God. That relationship with the Lord is what God desires for each of us. Since we are each unique, our relationship with Him will be somewhat individualistic.

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    1. If the Duggars believe that, then they made a mistake in insisting that they were not forced to wear only skirts and dresses while growing up, that it was their choice. Obviously, a few of them were not entirely on onboard with that conviction, which contradicts statements in their books.

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    2. 9:37 -- You're 100% right. All that matters is our relationship with the Lord. I wish more people understood that.

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    3. Agreed. I think Michelle’s statement was well done, it means more than Jinger loves the Lord and has a godly husband than whether or not she’s wearing pants.

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  16. Sometimes pants are a little better depending on the activity they're doing .

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  17. Another fake "controversy". There's no reason a married woman would need to seek her parent's approval of her clothing choices or have this sort of discussion with them. As long as her husband approves it's really none of the parent's business WHAT she wears.

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  18. Michelle, I loved all the things you said to Jinger. Seeing you love on your daughter as a mother and with the love of Christ warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes!

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  19. To be honest, I am a bit shocked by this segment. Jinger is very apologetic when it comes down to wearing pants: it seemed more modest for the activity of hiking, she consulted her parents before wearing pants, she was happy with her upbringing...(etc). Why does she have to explain or apologize? She is an adult and she is allowed to wear what she likes and seems fit: she is allowed to express her opinion if she believes that wearing pants is modest as well (or if modesty is not her major concern anymore) or if she believes that taking birth control is fine. It would be very sad if her parents would not love her anymore or if they would not approve of her if she did not have the same opinion. I had the impression based on this fragment that Michelle still loved her daughter but did not fully approve the pants and that Jinger therefore felt the need to apologize.

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    1. Maybe they felt a need to explain because of the flak they've been getting from viewers about the change of heart since writing their books. It also makes for controversy to film, which some people like to watch.

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    2. I didn't see Jinger apologizing. She was explaining that she made a choice - different from her parents choice. She wouldn't have to explain at all if it weren't for the constant scrutiny in the media. It was her chance to address the tabloids and say "look, there is no issue here." Her parents love and accept her regardless. Jinger was only teary eyed because she felt her mothers love and acceptance. Children, no matter how old, always desire those two things.

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  20. so why is everyone hashing them for letting jinger wear pants. she had asked them and they said to follow what God has said. as i remember she isnt the only one that wears pants jill has a nose ring and thats worse than wearing pants. stop hashing them. for that decion

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    1. I wonder what they had to say about the nose ring! I wouldn't have expected Jill to do that! I wonder if she was rebelling

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    2. How is a jewelry hole in a nose any different than a jewelry hole in an ear? And what is the problem with pants?

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  21. I mean, they're on camera, of course Michelle was going to say that she's fine with Jinger wearing pants. What's sad is that they have to be married before they can make such decisions for
    themselves. It's too bad that Jana still has to wear skirts since she's not married. With all the gardening and construction projects she does, pants would be much more comfortable and safe.

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  22. I wonder if Jill also asked for her parents' blessing to get a nose ring.

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  23. I am so sick of hearing about the pants (non) issue!! πŸ™„

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    1. Ok, let's go back to discussing bows!

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  24. I, personally, favor skirts over pants, but if that's all they're "guilty" of, Jim Bob and Michelle have nothing to worry about!!

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  25. I'm most surprised that Joy doesn't wear pants. She's always been such a tomboy!

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    1. Joy would like to wear pants, but as she stated on the show, Austin prefers she wear skirts and dresses...so she does.

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  26. How is it that Michelle can be such an advocate of a certain modest way for females to dress, yet has been a part of doing business with the provacative media? Surely, men are tempted when they turn the pages of People magazine and encounter quite a number of scantily clad models and celebrities. TLC has similar content and commercials airing. People are exposed to this when reading articles about the Duggars or viewing their show. More perplexing hypocrisy!

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  27. I dont believe in any God but my parents are very religious. As a child i had to follow their rules but as soon as i was grown up i made my own choices in life. My mother didnt agree on them but she loves me. Michelle should just say she doesnt like her daughters choice.... Not do all this talking.

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  28. Maybe now folks will give it a rest every single time one of the grown (MARRIED) Duggar girls or Bates girls wear pants...Enough already...New life , new rules...to each is own...Kapeesh✌πŸ’™πŸ˜Š

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  29. I love the Duggar’s, even though I’ve never met any of them. I appreciate the values they stand for and that they have not allowed the media nor society in general to change who they are. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this show or else you might think I’m a nut case! Blessings to you all!

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  30. They completely missed the point of some questions. The girls stated in a book that they wore the skirts/dresses out of their own conviction. Not because of Michelles conviction and not because they wanted to be respectful but by their own conviction. Now, it is absolutely ok to change your conviction but many are interested in the thought process behind it.
    The duggar women have long been wearing skin tighht skirts or leggins under tunikas or short skirts. Even skinny jeans are not more revealing than that, so I don't think modesty is a factor here.

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