Monday, July 28, 2014

Duggar Family Rules

Last week, you heard about the 28-foot timeline plastered along the hallway leading to the Duggars' side door. Michelle Duggar also has countless photos, Bible verses, and encouraging sayings hung up throughout the main floor of her house. The goal is to keep the family focused on serving God and others during the day and to remind the kids to practice good character.  

The Duggars go to Hobby Lobby to purchase inspirational metal signs for decoration. The "Family Rules" plaque is one of the family's favorites and is displayed in their dining room.

Duggar Family RulesFamily Rules
Keep your promises
Share
Think of others before yourself
Say I love you
Listen to your parents
Do your best
Say please & thank you
Always tell the truth
Laugh at yourself
Hug often
Use kind words
Love each other

96 comments:

  1. When i read the list of rules, i realized that they adhere to every one of them.Lily and Ellie, I just spent hours going through your whole blog site. There is so much to see, i love all the pics and old videos.I dont think that enough people know about the comment section,so if you go off topic there is a place to do that.You lovely ladies sure put in alot of time for us, thankyou for that.Godbless:-):-):-)

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    1. Re grape juice vs Wine... Clearly, Christ drank wine & not grape juice as grape juice requires refrigeration. Electricity not an option in Biblcal times. BTW.. Wine as prescribed by a Doctor is healthy for the heart. Once in awhile I will drink a glass of wine I feel no guilt because I do no drink in excess.

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  2. Good ideas Michelle has implemented in her home. Michelle is really one for putting God's truths into action. I think they are reaping the benefits of the good they sow. (I wonder how many posters will say 'side' hug often, I guess 3).

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  3. Love it. More families would be better off if they followed your philosophy. Love your family. I only have 7 children but we love your show and family. God bless you all.

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  4. Love that quote!! Soo true!

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  5. I like this - especially the "The man that I am ..." quote - so true!!

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  6. I like the sign! Did one of the Duggars make the "The man I am when no one's watching..." sign? Is it hung in their house?
    Thanks, Lily and Ellie!

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  7. I love it! The rules that I think every family should have. Whether big or small.

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  8. Those are great rules to have for the kids! A great, friendly reminder to be polite and to honor God. Love the Idea of that!:)Thanks Lily and Ellie!
    ~Alina

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  9. I love the laugh at yourself rule.

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  10. It is my opinion that the Duggar parents are way over the top at posting the rules all over the first floor of their house, 28 foot timeline on the wall, constant daily scripture/bible lesson-readings for the entire family, (age doesn't matter). It seems akin to mind control at indoctrination camps in cult settings...NEVER forget the mission of the group with constant behavioral reminders. Doesn't anyone else see this as being over the top and weird? They live in constant fear of screwing up and falling out of grace...life experience and some freedom to go out to the store yourself doesn't equate to losing one's soul.

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    1. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 will answer your question, and give you the reasoning behind why the Duggar family chooses to surround themselves with God's word on a constant basis. No, it isn't weird, over the top, mind controlling, or indoctrination. It is simply obedience to the Word of God.

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    2. Doesn't strike me as weird at all that they fill their house with encouraging quotes and ideas. The Duggars lives revolve around their belief in God. What does strike me as weird is that you follow a blog on people you find "over the top and weird'

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    3. It probably doesn't seem cult-like when that's all you know. I'd certainly agree that it's extreme, but I'm not surprised given their extremely devout Fundamentalist faith. For a family of "faith", there seems to be little faith in the idea that the kids will make good moral decisions on their own accord.

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    4. The Duggars understand that you can't "fall out of grace". Grace means unmerited favor. I think that is your fear and you assume it is theirs as well.

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    5. Everyone is indoctrinated daily by someone or something. They choose to be indoctrinated by the Bible. And they are better because of it. I have met them 4 times and my family recently stayed in their home on a trip. Nicest people I have met in my entire life. Real. Down-to-earth. Nothing, and I mean nothing, cult-like. They do more for others than probably any of us who have commented on this.

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    6. Agreed! Most children nowadays are indoctrinated by TV: materialism, consumism and selfishness. Who's over the top again?

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  11. to the anonymous talking about not liking the rules around the house. I have to point out the girls do go to the store by themselves. there was times when Jessa and Jinger went to another city (I think Chicago but I'm not sure) with the Bates girls. the kids do go places without the parents.

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  12. @AnonymousHow did you come to that assumption? The tv show only films them a few weeks a year, and in several episodes she cooked and cleaned. Kids should always do their part to make a home run! And in a house with 19 kids, I sure would want some help too. Just wow.

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  13. i totally agree. you do not have to splash bible verse and rules all over the house. a child will remember what you teach them. Jim bod and Michelle did to trust their children more then they do.

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  14. @Anonymous I HAVE TO DIAGREE. MY FAMILY DOES ALL THAT AND HAS FOR THE PAST 8-9 YEARS AND I NEED THAT DAILY REMINDER.

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  15. The comment that this is way over the top is one that I can't agree with. The children will know what the parents have to say to them, just by hanging out and reading the writing on the walls.
    In some homes the parents do not give this information to the children but the television, internet, video games, public school, bill boards, magazines, other people, etc. etc. etc. are on all the time and really creative to get messages across to minds. I would say that is mind control, what Michelle and Jim Bob are doing is setting their children's minds free by teaching them the ways of the Bible. When some one would like to learn a language one method is to label everything in the house so that they learn as they are in the house. This is a good learning method. We can not always be sitting down at an open book and every child is not a book worm either. In the Bates family one of their girls is renown for Bible memorization but what about instructing the others? Different people learn differently. Those lessons can be very valuable to have stored up even on the way to the store. If only I could relate all the strange incidents I have had when I leave my house and walk around outside. A guiding light is need when one does that. You must know this too anon 10 since non of us is yet taken out of the world.

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  16. Please do not say any thing negative about this wonderful mother. What kind of a passel of ungrateful brats would expect their mother of 19 to do all the menial work for them when they can divide up their chores because many hands makes light work. Michelle is brilliant! She has had so much fore sight in raising her children and she has been consistent in teaching them, she has done such an excellent job of raising her family! I really think she is a good, smart, lady.

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  17. The Duggar kids sure don't look like they live in fear. What's wrong with having constant reminders of God's word around a your home. Little children, older children and adults all can use reminder's of how to treat other's and how to strive to live a Godly life... something that means a lot to the Duggers. And, if you've ever watched the show, you see them going out, experiencing life and going to the store all the time. And, again, if you watch the show, Michelle does take care of the little ones, giving baths, feeding and educating them. Again, we only see a small part on TV. so if you don't like the Duggar's and how they live, unfollow them!

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  18. Aw, I love that! I love having a lot of scripture around a home. :)

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  19. What wonderful rules!! I wish my kids would follow all of these! It seems like we are missing a few of these on a daily basis! Haha!

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  20. They should change it to side hug often.... sorry I couldn't help myself.

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  21. i agree the anonymous #1 and #10,100%. thank you both. to mind controling ,when does she help the little 1'sanyway? how would they react if 1 of there won got pregnant or in trouble just curios. mary herschberger . burton ohio former amish

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  22. Anonymous 10: No, I don't see them as one the top at all. They have a lovely family and it's impossible to spend too little in the Word.

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  23. Hi there! I have a question! I often read Michelle mentioning that there are 'consequences' for misbehavior and disobedience, but I've never got to find more details in how exactly she correct her kids. Can you enlighten me on that? I come from a country and generation where and when kids were still corrected physically (not nice!), and I'd love to learn more from Michelle's meekness...

    Thanks and keep up the amazing work! I love your blog! ;)

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  24. @Anonymous Is Jill allowed to go to the store alone now? Just wondering.

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  25. Those are the best rules. I think they were ones I was raised on as well.

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  26. The Duggar kids sure don't look like they live in fear. What's wrong with having constant reminders of God's word around a your home. Little children, older children and adults all can use reminder's of how to treat other's and how to strive to live a Godly life... something that means a lot to the Duggers. And, if you've ever watched the show, you see them going out, experiencing life and going to the store all the time. And, again, if you watch the show, Michelle does take care of the little ones, giving baths, feeding and educating them. Again, we only see a small part on TV. so if you don't like the Duggar's and how they live, unfollow them!

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  27. I can see why they like going to Hobby Lobby. It's a business that apparently thinks all their employees should have dozens of kids because they want to control what kind of birth control their employees use, no matter what the law says.

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    1. The Hobby Lobby case involved just 4 out of 20 "contraceptives", those that can cause an abortion, thus ending a pregnancy, not preventing it. They DO cover the other 16, thus providing plenty of choices while still protecting the life of the unborn child. They're not saying their employees can't use them or even get an abortion, they're just saying they don't want to pay for them as they violate their religious beliefs.

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  28. Great quote !!!
    -Brittany :)

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  29. There are so many terrible young female singers and reality show people who are singing and walking around half naked on tv these days. I think that the Duggar family is at the opposite end of that spectrum in a good way !! I have a young daughter and appreciate the strong morals and respect the Duggar family sends through their show.

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  30. So are these their family rules they have used for years and made up the list themselves? or a sign that was preprinted from the hobby lobby that had a nice saying on it?

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  31. I am agreed with the comment 10

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  32. Hmmmm. I find it slightly hypocritical that they'd post a quote such as "The man that I am when no one is watching is the man that I really am" as a guide to love by, yet Michelle and Jim Bob don't even trust their older sons (or daughters, for that matter) enough to allow them to date without being under constant supervision. It's as if they REALLY don't believe that their own children can be of good character when alone, yet preaching this statement implies to to me that the ability for their children as individuals to be accountable for themselves, even away from the watchful eyes of parents or chaperones, isn't truly possible.

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    1. Chaperoning is just a precaution. When the couple that's courting doesn't want any physical contact until the wedding. Or if they set a certain standard, they can be kept accountable by the chaperone. It just keeps the temptation away. Personally when I start courting, I will have a chaperone with me the entire time! Until the wedding day. After that.... ;)

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  33. To the.person who thinks Michelle does nothing and her children do all the work....u apparently haven't watched the show all these years...they work hard together and also play together...a very loving family...a wonder ful example to others!

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  34. The quote that they have posted over top of the rules (written in the blue and green) is a lyric from a song titled "I Would", sung by The Wissmann Family. Just FYI. :)
    -a.

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  35. @Anonymous

    Would you be able to fully clothe, feed, wash, and dress that many little kids as well as do your other daily chores like ironing, washing laundry, cleening etc. and NOT need help??
    It's often not wise to be critical of others before you've been in their shoes as well.

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  36. I had a similar framed list in my kitchen as the kids were growing up. It is nice to have a reminder everyone can read and reflect on.
    I strategically placed it beside the wall phone and the mini goal chart for the kids.
    thanks for sharing

    Canada

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  37. This is definitely a great set of Family Rules to live by. Love it! This world would be a better place if our families would implement this. Love the Duggar's!

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  38. I see the awesome household runs on these principles, wow!

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  39. @Anonymous

    I respect your point you are making and must agree their family is far from being the picket fence next door.

    However, it works for them and TLC is sharing it with the viewers. Structure is always a requirement with raising a large family and they do center their lives around scripture.

    I have met other families over my years with beliefs and approaches to life similar. It is out there, it is just not common to the public eye. My first opinion was "over the top" as you mentioned until I got to know them personally and realizes how for them their approach to life worked for their family. As a viewer we don't have that ability so it can seem strange or different at times.

    I do understand rules being posted everywhere with such a large family since their are consequences to anyone's actions. Even with seven children in our home in different stages it helped to avoid conflicts in relationships.

    I do not believe the freedom to leave or go to the store is an issue with that family as it has been documented by TLC they live busy lives outside of the home too.

    I do not see constant grace an issue in that family as it clearly shows members do make mistakes and are human. We all live our lives forgiving each other and ourselves often privately or discretely.

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  40. Nothing weird or mind controlling about doing this. They know what the basic ideas are that they want to practise and the Bible book they want to learn and live by and they focus on doing that, good plan.

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  41. How do you know they live in constant fear? I don't see any evidence of that!

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  42. I have the same rules up at our house. Walmart carried it back at Christmas in their housewares section.

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  43. Not sure what all the fuss is about. The timeline had nothing to do with rules, but rather learning about the Bible. Scripture reading is done in many families on a daily basis. It is a way of passing your beliefs on to your children. I am positive that many families from various religions spend daily time on teaching their children their religion.

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  44. @Anonymous

    @Anony. 6---or "woman"!!!

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  45. I have not seen them "hug often" or really "laugh (at all) at themselves"; but the others seem to be practiced often!

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  46. When will you update the blog header? I would like to see new pictures of the family.

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  47. They teach their children very good principles; however, they always talk about being on "Duggar time." Do they not feel the need to be punctual?

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  48. They are a beautiful family!! The children respect their parents and others. May the Lord continue to bless their family!!

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  49. Love the rules we have the same one:)

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  50. I don't believe the Duggars look at life like this. They don't live in fear, they live out of thankfulness for what God has done for them. Nobody can save themselves, we are all complete sinners. It is because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross that we have been saved. The Duggars are showing their thankfulness in their lives, by loving others and focusing daily on Him.

    Romans 6:1,2: "Are we to continue in sin...? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it."

    Romans 6:6 "We know that our old self was crucified with him ... so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin."

    Romans 6:12 "Let not sin reign in your mortal body, to make you obey is passions... present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life."

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  51. Hi!
    I know you said you were trying not to be critical, I just wanted to put something our there in response to your comment.

    From experience, I know that sometimes all a mother can do is get through each day. Michelle not only makes sure her kids have what they need, she makes sure they know they are loved by her and by God! She has given birth 20 times, I would say that is work. (; The Duggars have a system that involves having heart-to-heart talks with each child. And honestly, I don't think the older children mind taking on some responsibilities... the least young adults can do is to help their parents if they're still living at home with them.

    God bless you!

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  52. Anonymous 10...As parents, Mr. and Mrs. Duggar are responsible to raise their children in the manner that they choose, just as all other parents have the freedom to choose how they want their children to be raise, from manners to faith. The Duggars are choosing to teach their children respect and responsibility in a world that has for the most part rejected those things. To raise them in today's world with the boundaries gone on TV, internet, or just walking down the street, they are making a home that is encouraging them to be responsible, caring adults someday. Children today are forced to grow up way too fast and deal with adult issues at an early age, from sex to violence to the breakdown of the family. They are giving them a faith to lean on when they enter the world, and I prefer these children as adults than the poor young ones who have been thrust into the world, ill-equipped to deal with.

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  53. Michelle and Jim Bob are wonderful parents. Their faith first focus on spiritual values as well as education and physical needs is missing in some homes. Jim Bob and Michelle know that faith and love are real and something to be excited about and to practise ~ I can learn from them too.

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  54. Your opening paragraph uses the word plastered which sounds less than respectful to me. Also the word numerous could replace the word countless, does countless have a negative connotation? Overall this is an excellent post and worthy of reading thank-you.

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  55. Letting edifying words in through the Eye Gate... It's biblical, it's beneficial, it's blessing the entire body of the viewer. "Be careful little eyes what you see."

    Outside the home is the onslaught of visual images and words that rob, kill and destroy. Let God's principles of kindness, patience, love and mercy (to name a few) feed the body (every chef knows we EAT with our eyes first!), nourish it, repair and mend what's wounded or broken. That's the kind of food that sticks to your ribs! I say, "Good job!"

    Happy week, ladies,
    Kelley~

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  56. In response to the first comment...

    Michelle has given birth 20 times! That is work! From experience, I know that sometimes all a busy mom can do is to get through a day. She not only makes sure her kids have what they need physically, but she also makes sure they know they are loved by her and by God. And the older kids really don't seem to mind helping at home. It's the least young adults still living at home can do for their parents.

    God Bless you

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  57. While I do not like to stir the proverbial pot, I cannot help but point out that one of the posters on this blog made a statement regarding Hobby Lobby that was directed at this company and the family. Your sarcastic statement IS SIMPLY INACCURATE, UNKIND and BIASED, To the poster, please read up on the case, you may still disagree with the Hobby Lobby position but at least you will have a deeper understanding of what you disagree with. It's fine to disagree, but a little research would be not be unreasonable before making irrational and inflammatory remarks on an issue you clearly have limited knowledge about.
    Here is the statement I am referring to:

    "I can see why they like going to Hobby Lobby. It's a business that apparently thinks all their employees should have dozens of kids because they want to control what kind of birth control their employees use, no matter what the law says. "

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  58. I have this plaque in my kitchen, I remind my children to go over the rules often.... I believe we should track our young to really be followers of Christ and have His traits ...

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  59. @Victoria

    Hi Victoria,

    Yep, the Duggars made the paper sign shown in the picture and taped it to the Family Rules sign.

    ~Lily and Ellie

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  60. @Míriam Bergo

    Hi Miriam,

    To learn about the parenting techniques that Jim Bob and Michelle implement, check out the Duggar-recommended resources posted to the Duggar Store page (http://duggarsblog.blogspot.com/p/duggar-store.html) and the parenting section of the Tips By Topic page (http://duggarsblog.blogspot.com/p/tips-by-topic.html).

    Hope this helps! We are blessed to have you as a reader.
    ~Lily and Ellie

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  61. I l;ove there family rules . shapes each one into better person

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  62. Picture a husband upset because his wife did not make supper and a wife angry because her husband did not take her out to a restaurant. Picture children sitting around watching screens and screaming for some one to serve them supper. That does not seem like a nice functional picture? The Duggars want everyone to know how to overcome the sadness of such selfishness.

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  63. To anon 37 the couple, get it COUPLE (one Duggar and one newcomer to the family), is being chaperoned. As much as the man AND woman are supposed to be of excellent character they are just getting to know each other at this stage of the relationships.

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  64. Anonymous 29: Before obamacare Hobby Lobby offered 16 types of birth control, after obamacare Hobby Lobby offered the same 16 types of birth control. After obamacare Hobby Lobby did not want to be made to offer abortificants and that is why they sought a waiver.

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  65. Since posting "reminders" all over the house for the Duggar family to see while going about their day isn't a problem for them, why are Catholic spiritual reminders, ( religious art, statues) not all right? Catholics have these visual reminders around their home too and are spiritual thought provokers for us. We do NOT worship idols. This family also has photos of themselves all over the house, does that mean that they worship those images? Of course not. Same for Christian/catholic pictures, paintings and sculptures. they are reminders and points of visual focus for prayer or reflection,

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  66. If you had a like button I would at least like 76, 77 and 79 because that imoge is winking (ha).

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  67. As a mother of 7, going on 8, all I know is that the Duggar family is an inspiration to me. I have experienced the shift from all the work done by my husband and I, to having the kids share in the work load. Its a beautiful thing and my kids are better for it. There really are great things that can happen in a large family that put their focus on God and service to others. The Duggars are a great example to many. Thank you!

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  68. our family rules.....It is what it is only God can change things....forgive daily...love always ....laugh often ...dream big ....dare to do something new....multiply love by dividing it with others...God is first always....giggle play laugh dream and hope

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  69. With a house full of children there could be some confusing times so having these posters would be a great help.

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  70. I agree with 84 if the points the parents want followed are put up like this then everyone sees what is expected and power struggles and resentments of having to let an assortment of various underling leaders have their say over their charges is not going to happen. These reminders empower everyone equally.

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  71. Duggers help me to be a better person love them from lizabeh

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  72. God bless the Duggers

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  73. I think Jim Bob and Michelle have don't a great job raising their children. They are loving caring and thoughtful individuals towards others and that is something that a lot of families today don't have with theirs children. They spend time with their kids loving and educating them to be the best they can. Excellent job Jim Bob and Michelle.

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  74. Heavens! Let's pick apart everything, wording, what Michelle does or does not do. Either watch and enjoy or don't, they are living their life as they choose. One thing if interest-they are getting paid by television that often also sponsors things the Duggars consider ungodly-does money make it ok? Something to think about

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  75. We post things up all over the house cuz u never know when it will really sink in or comes in handy thru the day!! We are humans with sin and "aha" moments qued by the Lord's word always welcomed!! Keep it up Duggars you have built your house on a rock of God's love!!! with much respect in South East Texas

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  76. @Anonymous Hobby Lobby DOES provide birth control, it's the abortion drugs like RU-486 that they don't want to provide.

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  77. @Anonymous
    This comment is inappropriate and unfeeling. What would 'Anonymous' know? Show your face instead of being hateful and spiteful anonymously!

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  78. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. Galatians 5:14

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  79. @Anonymous

    Wow! Are you that simple to think that the few, edited hours on the show really show EVERYTHING that happens in the Duggar household? Think again and don't make such rude and ignorant comments about Mrs. Duggar. All of her children are well equipped to take care of another, something our society has forgotten about. It is good for a child to develop compassion and love by serving others. It's helps them to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them and that others have needs. What better place to learn those skills than at home? People comment and don't even think, right anonymous?

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  80. "Sometimes things fall apart, so that other things may come together"

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  81. "Be Like The Birds - Sing After Every Storm"

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  82. It seems to me they have reaped what they've sown....kind, loving, respectful children who make the world a better place. The Duggars open their house to others and interrupt their own lives to go to other countries to serve those in need. They value others and recognize that children are blessings and responsibilities...not disposable inconveniences. Some of the kids are firemen, emts, first responders, and midwives-in-training. They are not rude, don't criticize, don't do drugs or waste their lives getting wasted.
    The siblings help and encourage each other instead of fighting. Maybe more parents, as well as the rest of us, should be more 'over the top'!

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  83. I heard that they have rules that forbid BF and GF from touching each other such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. My GF dad said he lives by those rules as the Duggars, so I was wondering if he was lying to me. BTW I have never heard of this family before

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  84. @Anonymous
    spending hours too ! every second is worth !! :D

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