Monday, August 31, 2015

"Breaking the Silence" Recap

Yesterday evening, TLC aired a one hour, commercial-free documentary called Breaking the Silence, which featured Jill, Jessa, and Michelle. Here is the recap:
  • The documentary opens with Erin Merryn sharing her experiences of being sexually abused multiple times as a young child. Now a mom living in Suburban Chicago, Erin is a traveling speaker and advocates for age-appropriate education on child sexual abuse.
  • The show goes on to profile multiple victims of child sexual abuse who had the courage to come forward, including an adult who hid his secret for many years and a girl who found her voice at age eight.
  • A group of adults attend a seminar held by Darkness to Light, an organization that seeks to prevent child sexual abuse, in New York City. Attendees are given five steps to help prevent abuse from occurring in their own families and to handle it if it happens.  
    • 1. Learn the facts
    • 2. Minimize opportunities
    • 3. Talk about child sexual abuse
    • 4. Recognize the signs
    • 5. React responsibly
  • Jill Duggar Dillard, Jessa Duggar Seewald, and Michelle Duggar attend this seminar. 
  •  Jessa, who is due with her first child in November, says the seminar helped her to be more aware and to set up boundaries for her family. 
  •  “I feel like this should be a discussion that people are having, even regularly,” shares the expectant mother. “I think that it shouldn’t be a taboo subject, that we should be bringing awareness to child sexual abuse.”
  •  Jill mentions that she also likes the idea of setting up boundaries ahead of time in order to avoid situations where abuse could occur. 
  • “It was amazing to understand that there are so many people that deal with this exact same thing in their own families,” says the mother of one.  
  •  “I was so glad that my girls and I were able to do this together and that we could just be a support and an encouragement...” shares Michelle. 
  •  RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE/RAINN.org), an organization similar to Darkness to Light, provides a free, confidential online chat and phone service for kids dealing with abuse. The trained RAINN staffers give children encouragement, offer resources where they can get help, provide ideas for safety plans, and urge these victims to tell a trusted adult.

32 comments:

  1. That's it? Really? I'm disappointed.

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  2. I hope all of the Duggars can now put this episode behind them and live quiet lives without the constant deluge of negative comments and magazine stories. They all need to heal and move on and so does their audience. Life goes on...

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  3. Will this be on again I would like to watch it I was not able to last night?

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    1. Great question, I didn't either

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  4. What should be done to someone who has committed acts of sexual abuse? Especially involving a child? What if that man lives in your neighborhood? What if that man lived in your home? What boundaries do you set then? Will you answer my questions?

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    1. I think that you need to ask that question on the correct web site. I believe there is a hotline above.

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  5. The book "Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell" by Debi Pearl is a great book to help young children understand what to do when dealing with sexual predators.
    The new and highly recommended book called "GOOD Pictures BAD Pictures" by Kristen A. Jenson, MA and Gail Poyner, PhD is incredible in helping children (even young ones) understand the damaging affects that pornography causes to the brain and why it can be so highly addictive. It even has a plan on what to do when a child comes across porn called the "CAN DO" plan. I cannot say enough good things about this book. I have used it with my seven children ranging from preschool - teens. The purpose of this book is to instill in children to build an internal filter in their minds. Please get a copy for your family and read it often. The more we talk to our kids about "BAD Pictures" the better prepared they will be to reject it and be more open to talking to us as parents about what they may have already been exposed to. Openness and honesty at young ages is key to keeping them from the devastating effects of porn addiction.

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  6. Thanks for posting!! I was hoping you would :-)

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  7. This program was sad, scary for me as a mom, and informative. I wouldn't say that it "featured" the Duggars, though, as they were barely on the screen for more than a few quotes.

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  8. Any reason why none of the other girls attended?

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    1. They want to remain anonymous

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  9. Does anyone know how to watch this after the air date? I had been looking forward to it but I felt like they just snuck it in without much notice. Hoping they re-air it or post it online soon!

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  10. Cathy, the first people to contact in this situation is the police. If the person lives in your home, find a safe place where you can contact law enforcement such as a library, school, or other public place. They will investigate and refer the victims to other agencies as necessary. This is not a situation that should be taken lightly. Abusers are known to repeat this behavior.

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  11. Michelle talked about being a support and encouragement but she needs to learn more about the subject herself to take home and apply. I think her family was more an example and even a warning that this happens to the best of us.

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  12. They need to stay off of National TV and stop doing every magazine cover they are offered

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  13. For those of you who didn't see it when it aired the full episode is available for viewing on the TLC website. I watched it last night and it was very impressive. As someone who was inappropriately touched I can vouch for how hard it can be to tell someone. The people who spoke on the program were lucky in the fact that their parents believed them. Mine didn't and, to this day, my family still remains skeptical that it happened. Jessa Seewald was exactly right when she said this is something that has to be openly talked about, not something that's kept silent because it's considered a taboo subject.

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  14. Today 9/01 it's all over the news & Internet that Josh Duggar is missing from the rehab facility in Rockford, IL. In the first place did Josh actually enter this facility or was this just PR?

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  15. Just learned from the news & Internet that Jessa Duggar Seewald was slammed by several Southern women regarding the scheduled October conference that Jessa is to speak. It seems things are just going from bad to worse with the Duggars.

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  16. I just wish that Jim Bob & Michelle could be more open & own accountability about Josh. Something may be seriously wrong with Josh that caused this latest incident. I know Anna must be hurting. Josh too may be embarrassed about losing his job at the FRC. It was absolutely a fantastic opportunity for him to receive & learn a great career. I am sure Josh was provided a great salary. This who incident with Josh is awful & so disturbing. I hope he really gets the help he needs & that he will heal & that he turns to God. I hope Josh & Anna's marriage will be healed. It will take some time. However God can heal anything.

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  17. Just a thought.. Does anyone here think that perhaps Josh may be torn between wanting two lifestyles? I think Josh is very confused, hurting, embarrassed & longing for direction but isn't quite sure where to turn. This has to be torture for Josh. He may not want to be at this rehab place in Illinois. Someone posted that Josh is missing from the rehab facility in Illinois. I thought his parents wrote on this blog that Josh entered this facility in Illinois. I think Josh is confused about many issues. Don't shoot me but I do feel somewhat sorry for him. I just hope he will eventually realize for himself that he needs help. If Josh was forced to enter rehab & he wasn't ready then the therapy may not work. This whole situation is so sad.

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  18. Question, shortly before Michelle, Jana & Jinger were to speak at Verity Univ in Indianapolis, IN the second Josh Duggar scandal broke in the news. As a result, did the Duggar women follow through with the speaking engagement or did they cancel? Please share. Thank you.

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  19. I think the whole family should be lifted up in prayer. Not only is this hard on Josh, Anna, and their family. The little kids are paying for something they didn't create. They were accustomed to having the film crew around and being on TV, now their lives are upside down. I think it is totally unfair of TLC to punish the entire family because of one person. Film without Josh, but do not destroy the lives of the little ones, Josie, Jordyn, and Anna's children need to be considered in this. I do not condone, what I have read happened, but none of us know exactly what happened, This is between Josh, God, and his family. Judge not lest ye be judged. My heart breaks for this family.Part of Josh' recovery will be talking about this. Give him a chance. The Bible says "For ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God". Not Josh sinned, lets punish his entire family for forgiving him and loving him.

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  20. As I read some of the comments and news articles, something I felt needed to be stated....parents should not be held responsible for the bad choices their adult children make. Otherwise we would all have a free pass. I have never really been a "fan" of the Duggar clan nor have I watched much of their show. However, after watching the interviews with Jessa and Jill it seems to me that Michelle and Jim Bob are normal parents and want nothing but the best for their kids. I have two boys and one of them makes really bad choices and is definitely a more difficult child than the other. I as a parent have the job to curb that behavior and do my best to teach him how to make good choices. If he chooses to still make bad choices as he becomes a teenager and adult, the majority of the accountability needs to be in the hands of the teenager/young adult. We forget that Josh is 1 child out of 19. His bad choices should not mean that the entire family should be held accountable for his behavior. He has obvious sexual issues, but isn't that a problem psychologically or otherwise that he needs to be accountable for...not the parents. The situation that occurred between Josh and his siblings is not that unusual...unfortunately. I woke one night to one of my brothers inappropriately touching me while I slept. I never told anyone and my parents didn't do anything to cause that. What that taught me as a parent is that parents need to set boundaries. So that their curiosity and bad choices don't have an opportunity to appear. It seems to me from the interviews with Jill and Jessa that their parents did exactly that. They set up boundaries to remove the temptation or opportunity to make bad choices once they found out what happened. But it is really easy to play Monday morning quarterback and say that Michelle and Jim Bob should have known that before it happened is not fair. You parents out there....are you able to anticipate all the bad choices your children will make and stop them before they happen. If we could then our world be a different place. Lots of kids out there make bad choices and have warped views of sex. Josh obviously has issues and needs help. There is no denying that. But to paint the family and parents with the blame brush is simply wrong. There were many individuals on that Ashley Madison site. They all have made choices that will potentially ruin their lives. They all lived hypocritical/double lives with loving wives at home. Unfortunately, Josh is not that different from those other men. There are many, many politician that claim to live one way and actually live another...Bill Clinton just to name one. So let's keep Josh's behavior in perspective and do what these girls are saying. Talk about "taboo" subjects with our kids. Don't assume your boys would never do that. Don't assume your girls will tell you it happened. Be diligent parents and stop judging others. Instead use their experience to remind yourself that none of us are free from the consequences of others choices.

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  21. I hope Josh is really in the rehab facility that he entered under his own volition & not force. This addiction is very difficult to overcome. True turning to God is one way to receive the help because God always answers. In this situation long term therapy is definitely required. Anna too needs therapy to deal with the hurt & betrayal. The percentage of marriages that survive this type of addiction are low. If Anna decided to leave Josh I am sure her brother Daniel would be there for her. I just believe that Josh was in a way crying out for help. I will throw this out there. Does anyone believe that Josh wants to leave the faith in which he was raised & this latest offense was his way of communicating this desire? Perhaps Josh & Anna married too young? The majority of their courtship was long distance by phone, text & Skype. When they were together, they were never permitted to be alone. I have not yet formed an opinion about courting. There are so many questions as to why Josh developed this addiction. I will continue to hope for the best & pray for Anna & the children & Josh as well.

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  22. My stars, who among us wants to admit that something is wrong with us? I absolutely do not agree with what has been going on but I still feel sorry for Josh. Something has happened to him to cause him to act this way. I am not making excuses for him but think there are things that we don't know. If we could see the whole picture we might have more compassion. (I say this as many times I have judged someone by what was on the surface and when the whole story came out it wasn't like we thought.
    My prayer is for Josh is that what has been hidden in darkness comes to light. We might all learn how important it is to not
    judge.

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  23. Well said, Anonymous! You are completely correct about we parents out here....I do not know the minds of my young adult sons. I can only talk to them, be honest about the sad, tragic things that occur in this fallen world, encourage them to make morally upright decisions and most of all fall on my knees and pray, pray, pray.....trusting that the Lord who knows all hearts and loves us all enough to suffer His beloved Son to die for the sins of the world (could I do that? I doubt it! Thank God that He IS God!!) can heal all hurts and cleanse even the filthiest of lives with His blood.

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  24. I do pray that Josh does follow thru with his help and the support of his family he will heal. I as a mother of 5 with 4 girls 1 boy who was in the middle it was so hard to try to keep girls from our son , he is very good looking from as young as 5 my older daughter's friends that came over were always saying Your so Cute!! To him and being that we as parents both work our older daughter's would watch our son in the summer. As he got into high school He was so after older girls ! Which we blamed our selfs because we put him in that atmosphere thinking keeping him with his sister's that he would be safe not realize that the friends were after him. And we talk to our Girls about the dangers of abuse and to our son to be respectful to girls . But never told him about abuse.

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  25. How on earth do you remember all of your children's names and how many do you go through before getting the correct one? I have three kids and can't keep their names straight.

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  26. i think josh is in denial. he just needs to man up

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