'Marriage Bootcamp' Recap

Counting On "Marriage Bootcamp"

• Five of the married Duggar couples (the Seewalds, the Forsyths, John and Abbie, Joe and Kendra, and Josiah and Lauren) embark on a marriage retreat at a lake house. The retreat was coordinated by Jim Bob and Michelle and is being led by Pastor Caldwell (Kendra’s dad and the Duggars’ pastor).
• “I think it’s so important for each one of our kids to have a strong marriage,” says Jim Bob. “And when they have a strong marriage, that makes a strong family, and it makes our whole extended family stronger.” Spurgeon and Henry stay home with Jim Bob and Michelle, but Gideon and Garrett come along and are babysat by Lauren and Kendra’s younger sisters.
• “I am hoping to learn a lot, just in every aspect in our marriage, because I need a lot of work,” says Joy. Austin says that he wants to get their marriage “off of autopilot and start actively investing into it.”
• The first topic is communication. “Something I have to do is close my mouth so [Ben] can actually talk,” says Jessa. “I’ve learned that when he does talk, I will try to guess what he’s saying and try to say it for him.” “I realize that’s one of the most frustrating things,” says Ben. “You have to give the other person the opportunity to explain themselves…”
• Most of the women, like Kendra and Jessa, say that they talk more than their husbands, but Josiah admits that he often talks more than Lauren.   
• Later, Pastor Paul takes the couples outside for a challenge involving walkie-talkies, blindfolds, and boats. It was not intended to turn into a race, but rather to be an exercise in communication, but with the Duggars, it quickly becomes competitive. The guys each get into an inflatable boat and have to fetch a duck decoy while blindfolded. Their wives give them instructions via walkie-talkies. 
• Josiah wins the competition because Lauren makes it sound like someone is right on his heels. Jessa admits that she struggles with directions and keeps telling Ben to turn the wrong way. Austin ditches the paddles and uses his arms. He finds that easier.
• The next topic is compromise. “I grew up very structured,” says Abbie. “My mom had a schedule. John-Boy grew up, more fly by the seat of your pants, so trying to combine those two [has] been a little challenging for us.”
• “I think when you don’t compromise, it causes…tension,” says Kendra.
• The challenge for this topic is working together to build a nest that will hold marbles. “Sometimes it’s a little hard to do a project together,” says Lauren. “We’re both pretty stubborn.” Lauren says she knows that Josiah’s idea won’t work, but she decides to let him figure it out on his own rather than nag him. Lauren ends up laying down on the couch because she has a headache.
• “We work together pretty well, and we’re always willing to listen to each other’s ideas,” says Joy. “What helps me is the fact that I trust her,” says Austin. “I know I can compromise to somebody that I trust. And I know that she does have good ideas, and she does have good plans, and if I’ll listen to her, it’ll work out.”
• Jessa and Ben start off doing their own thing, which, they say, is what they often do in life. “Thankfully we were able to merge our ideas, and it actually turned out really good,” says Ben.
• On the last morning of the retreat, Lauren stays in bed because she is feeling tired and nauseous. The couples rewrite their wedding vows to show their commitment to each other. Then they stand up in front of everyone and recite them. Pastor Caldwell even has a veil, flowers, and candles. “For some reason, I was pretty giddy and nervous the second time around,” says Abbie.
• “For me it wasn’t quite as emotional as our wedding day,” says Joseph. “There’s definitely emotion in it, I just wasn’t bawling.” Kendra says it was more emotional for her to hear Joseph recite his vows the second time than it was on their wedding day. Josiah videos his vows to show to Lauren later. He even kisses the phone screen.
• “I’m very grateful that my parents set this up to where we could all come out here and have this little marriage retreat together,” says John-David.
• In Laredo, Jinger and Jeremy are preparing for their moving sale. “I’m looking forward to being a little more minimalistic in LA,” says Jeremy, who has been more sentimental in the past. 
• On the morning of the sale, Jeremy gets up at 6:30 to put the sign up. At 7:00, the Vuolos open their garage door, and people start pouring in. “One woman almost jumped out of her moving car,” says Jeremy. “They are expert garage shoppers. I almost got caught up in it.”
• Some of the shoppers don’t speak English, so the Vuolos’ bilingual friend comes over to help translate.
• The Duggars all agree that Jim Bob is the best negotiator. “He can sell ice to an Eskimo,” says Jedidiah. “I’m the worst negotiator,” says Jeremy. “I don’t have negotiating skills. I have not attended Jim Bob’s school of negotiating, that’s for sure.” He lets cans of paint go for $15, and Jinger tells him that he should have asked double. The Vuolos end up making $379.