Friday, July 10, 2020

Thoughts on Lauren's Miscarriage

Lauren Duggar, Josiah Duggar, Bella Duggar
Easter 2020
 
"The first trimester, we thought we were going to lose this one because I had spotted for a month, and then the second trimester, my progesterone levels were just very low."
-Lauren Duggar

Although Bella Duggar is eight months old, let's take a look back at the weeks leading up to her birth, when Lauren and Josiah were preparing the nursery. They had a miscarriage in 2018, and there were a lot of statements made by viewers that Lauren, who admitted to struggling immensely with the loss of her baby, grieved too deeply and for too long. Simply put, some people wondered why she didn't "get over it" quicker.

I (blog author Ellie) recently had a miscarriage, and it has been a lot harder than I ever expected. I also have a toddler, and he has brought so much comfort and reassurance during this time of mourning. I just can't imagine how much more difficult it would be to bear if this had been my first pregnancy. For the Christian who puts her hope in God, there is a lot of peace in knowing that God walks with us and has a plan for our life and that our baby is in heaven, but it's still a hard situation to go through. Below is the link to a Counting On video clip.

Josiah and Lauren Show off the Nursery and Discuss Pregnancy Complications

Photo courtesy duggarfamily.com

119 comments:

  1. Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss

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  2. Ellie, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I am glad you have the Lord to lean on. Although I have never been through your experience, I do know what it's like to experience grief with the loss of loved ones, job, divorce, etc. and it cuts to the core. I pray for the Lord to fill you with His love and comfort because He will never leave nor forsake you. He will guide you through this time. Same for Mr. Handsome. Don't mean to leave him out! Psalm 42:8 Yet the Lord will command His loving kindness in the daytime, and in the night, His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

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  3. A miscarriage is always difficult no matter how many babies you have had. People handle it in their own way. There is no "right" or "wrong" way. Lauren and Josiah are extremely fortunate that they didn't lose Bella. I'm sure they count their blessings every day. I hope they wait a while before attempting another pregnancy.

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  4. From someone who suffered 5 miscarriages myself, how dare anyone judge anyone on their timeline of grief. I know for me, when i took those pregnancy tests and it was positive, you are immediately a mom in your mind. Your mind will already be picturing the life you will have with this little person. When that life ends, you grieve the loss of all the dreams you had for that baby. People need to grieve in their own way, on their own time. This family shares their life with the public and also all of their joys and sorrows. I would not have wanted to share my 5 losses with the world and be judged for how i handled my sorrow. People who have anything negative to say about the loss of a baby most likely has not experienced that loss, consider yourself lucky.

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    1. ❤ I have had two and grieved differently each time. I completely understand and agree with you.

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    2. Exactly 1:16PM, I agree. People who have negative things to say about how somebody grieves a pregnancy loss has probably not experience a miscarriage themselves. It is a hard thing to go through.
      I'm sorry Ellie for your loss. May God give you extra comfort during this time. Hugs.

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    3. Very nicely said. I have had three miscarriages, and I wonder who they would have been. You don't just get over it. It is a loss.

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    4. Well said! I lost 3 and it's been a struggle to say the least! Most people that judge haven't been through it so they shouldn't judge!

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    5. I lost 6 babies between my two children I know the feeling and it hurts so much

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  5. Hugs, Ellie. I'm so sorry for your pain and loss.

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  6. Yes, it's a shame when someone presumes to tell anyone else how to grieve. That's a very unkind thing to say to or about anyone.

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  7. I am so sorry Ellie! I will pray you and your angel baby!
    I commented on previous post as well, I had a miscarriage recently in May. It was my third pregnancy. The very first time I was pregnant I miscarried very early, about 5weeks. But learned it aƄ 8weeks scan. Completely shattered, dark months followed, I had to cry all the time, had nightmares. About about 5 months later I got pregnant again and had a healthy son, who is almost 3 years now. And now I was pregnant third time, baby passed away shortly after a scan aƄ 7weeks, which was good, the heart was beating. At 10weeks anymore. There is nothing granted. I am.still grieving this one, I boightba keepsake pendant with the ultrasound as a memory. Praying and trying for out rainbow right now, luckily my days are much brighter with my toddler around, my arms are not empty. That very first time was much darker.

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  8. I am disgusted by people who criticized Lauren. There is no timeline for Grief. It tends to linger and comes up at different points. I give Lauren a lot of credit for how open she has been about her grief, I know she has made others who have gone through pregnancy loss feel less alone.

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  9. Grief has no timeline. Never tell someone to get over it or you’re taking this too long. Everyone grieves in their own way. I’m so sorry for any miscarriage, my love to you all.

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  10. Grief and loss is personal. Shame on those people. I will tell you what a friend told me when I was walking that road: You will see your baby in heaven. Jesus will hand her/him to you.

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  11. ive had 8 miscarriages and 1 preemie lost over the last 10 years and i still think about each of them different days and miss and mourn them and i will until the day i die. there is no deadline or expiration date on mourning

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  12. Just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss.

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  13. Ellie,My prayers are with you and your family on your loss. May God comfort you and your family.

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  14. Sweet Ellie I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby. I've lost two babies and though I had my other children it's still painful because they also grieved. The anticipation of a new little one is lost but like you said,there is peace knowing God walks with us in our hour of grief. And NO ONE but NO ONE has a right to tell a grieving woman how long she should grieve or to "get over it" when it comes to the loss of her baby!

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  15. First of all, I am sorry for your loss, Ellie. I hope you and your husband are doing ok.

    As for Lauren, I agree that everyone grieves differently. Even if you disagree with how someone is grieving, it doesn't cost you anything to be kind and show some grace. While Lauren could have chosen her words differently at times, I think people were forgetting that she was quite young, barely an adult, lacked a lot of life experience, and was forced to grieve in the public eye.

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    1. Exactly. And while miscarriage is terrible for anyone, imagine how it must be for those girls. Their only life goal is to be mothers, imagine how it must be shattering to have a miscarriage.

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  16. Ellie, I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. As to Lauren's, I've noticed you allow many rude comments here, and I'm not sure why.

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  17. So sorry to hear about your micarriage,I know your pain as I've been through it but I know your a strong lady and time and prayer will heal,God bless.

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  18. Deeply sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your family during this difficult time. And thank you for working your blog as you grieve.

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  19. When Lauren was shown during her mourning; her pain was palatable. Her sadness was extremely deep. I felt for her. So young and I’m not sure Josiah knew how to support her during that time.

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    1. Josiah had no idea what to do with it.

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    2. You can't blame them, they are so young. They were practically babies themselves when it happened.

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    3. When I think of all that a person learns and grows through the first 19 to 20 years of their life, it seems like quite an insult to say they were practically babies. My oldest is 17, and I would never think of him that way.

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    4. Being 5, 6, or 7 years away from being 12 years old is not being grown up.

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    5. No one said it was being grown up. But it's not a baby, either.

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    6. Obviously when you say "babies" it's an expression, you don't mean that literally they are as developed as babies.
      They are though very young and they are people with scarse contact with the outside world, they are very sheltered.

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  20. I am sorry for your loss. I think as with most things about the Duggars, many people think the family over-exploits private matters for attention for the show which yields money. One good example is how Anna was put on the show in tears to talk about all the terrible things Josh did to her. I believe, as many do, this was for the benefit of the show and nothing else.

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  21. I am so sorry for your loss Ellie, It has been 38 yrs for me with 3 miscarriages and still at times I long to hold that baby think about first steps, first words, just all of the firsts missed, I wonder what kind of adults they would be. I still feel the loss very deeply. You just learn to move on and live but you never totally forget. No person has the right to tell another how to grieve.

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  22. Ellie, thinking of you and praying for you. I lost a firstborn too. As a Christian, I basically just got honest with God, no "faithing" my way through this. Sometimes, God will lead you around a situation, but sometimes the way is going to be through it and coming out on the other side of it, Yes, my baby was in Heaven , but I still needed to work through that loss here. Jesus grieved, so it wasn't just acceptable for me to, but God welcomed me to come to Him with the full measure of my grief. He lost a son too. Jesus suffered loss here, so He could be my perfect High Priest in Heaven, knowing exactly what loss feels like. Well-meaning family and friends often say things like you can have another baby (I'm thinking, "But I wanted THIS one.") or you can try again ("But I wanted THIS one."), trying to comfort you in their human ability. Often there seems to be pressure from other Christians to "get on with your life","get over it", "haven't you grieved long enough?", etc. I think it's likely because grief makes us uncomfortable; we can't fix the situation for the other person. We can encourage them to just go to God-He's a good Father who loves His children. Just like a good earthly father, He invites us to climb into His lap, He wraps His arms around us and comforts us, and heals our hearts as only He can do. He walks us through the hard stuff and we see His father-heart more clearly. Praying for you and your husband, my friend.

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  23. So sorry for your loss, Ellie! :(
    As for Lauren, it is how she feels, not how everyone else thinks how she should feel! Everyone grieves differently. It was her first baby, and she did not know if she is even able to carry a child to term later on. Her being only 19 at that time could make things so much bigger and emotional.

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  24. I’m so sorry to learn of your miscarriage. Everyone morns in a different way. Take what time you need and find peace in your heart.
    After many years of trying to have a baby, we got pregnant. After spending 6 weeks in bed, there was no heartbeat at an ultrasound appointment. I grieved for that baby. Four years to that day, our son was born, by the grace of God and a brave birth mom. That baby is now 22.
    I still think about the baby we lost, especially around Christmas as she was due in mid December.
    People say dumb things. My Mom still says a miscarriage is like a bad period. Baffles the mind how someone could be so insensitive.

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    1. I had a miscarriage that was like a bad period. I was a week late and it was really heavy flow. I also had a miscarriage that required a DNC. Another one that I almost bled out waiting for the doctor at the ER. And my last one was ectopic and needed surgery. So your mother is somewhat right, SOME miscarriages are like bad periods. But some are way worse.

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    2. 2:44, I think the insensitive part is ignoring that the pregnant mom has lost a child - it's not emotionally close to a period. That's the difference.

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  25. I don’t have any children so I don’t know what miscarriage is like; however, I did lose my husband 5/25/19. Your comment about being a Christian & having the assurance they’re in heaven but it is still hard is a huge understatement. But being a Christian is what helps you get through it indeed. People handle grief very differently. There is no rule book with all the how to’s. I wouldn’t wish either one of these losses on anyone. ❤️

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    1. So sorry you lost your husband. Sending you a big cyber-hug.

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    2. godly-young-widowJuly 13, 2020 at 5:47 PM

      Thank you for sharing. I am in the same boat. I lost my husband 12 years ago; I was in my mid-30s. Grief is grief. And oh my; I sure wouldn't want my grief on display like that! I get enough judgment and questions and pity that I can't imagine people arguing about me like we see with the Duggars. May you be blessed today

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  26. I have had a miscarriage. It is horrible. I am still grieving it, a year later. I don't think you ever get over it. We have been trying for 12 years, and still no luck getting pregnant, except for the miscarriage.

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  27. So very sorry, Ellie. I will be praying for you.

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  28. In our community there is an organization made up of moms that have all experienced the loss of a baby. It was started by a family friend. When we experienced an early term miscarriage she shared a book with us that really helped me. One thing that had a great impact on me is that it pointed out the need to let all people grieve in their own way. What brought comfort to you, or was important to you, may not do the same for someone else. For some, the grief is deeper than for others, and that is ok. We are all in different places. Our job as family, friends, community members, and even strangers is to be there and support the grieving couple in whatever they need. We should not make them feel bad for feeling the loss too much, or too little. Who gets to decide what is the “right” way to grieve?

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  29. Sorry for your loss Ellie

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  30. ellie, i'm so sorry about your miscarriage. someone who has not gone thru one cannot understand the pain you are feeling, the hopes and dreams that are gone, the changes this has brought about. you will grieve at your own pace. do not, and i repeat, do not let anyone tell you to 'move on' because they are uncomfortable with your grief.
    you didnt say how far along you were so i dont know if you knew the gender but can i suggest if you havent already, maybe name the baby. it helped me to give my daughters twin a name, even though we werent 100% sure of the gender, similar to what josiah and lauren did. this was suggested in a grief group i was in for miscarriage/stillborn/infant deaths after my oldest son died as a baby.
    as a side note, and i honestly dont intend to be mean when i say this, but in my opinion, because of what we see, i think lauren is probably the least popular of the dugger-in-laws (besides derick) because she has a negative attitude about everything. dwelling more on the past with asa instead of looking towards the future with bella (which i totally relate to btw) maybe she suffers from depression? idk but from what the show actually shows us, it appears she's a bit more high maintenance than kendra or abbie as the new duggar-daughters-in-law; hardly participating in things with the family, hardly ever smiling and not very gracious. again, this is what everyone sees because this is what we're shown. look how upset everyone got when she copied josie bates balka's style and baby picture. tons of people put their babies under the tree for a photo shoot but people got upset with lauren for doing it! (maybe because she had previously posted pictures similar to josie's and people were upset about that already? idk when anna posted a similar picture to what alyssa posts, she credited the bates sisters boutique which seemed to calm some of the haters, saying she copied alyssa's pics) michelle taught the children to be gracious and thankful regardless of the situation - lauren was raised differently as she's not afraid to show her despair

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    1. You haven't seen how closely, in some cases EXACTLY (item for item) Lauren copies Josie? She never says she's doing it to promote an item, she just copies. It's very peculiar.

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  31. I just don't understand why people want to get pregnant again so fast after having a baby. What's the point of having baby after baby and not giving your body time to recover or being able to spend some quality time with one child before the next baby comes along??

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    1. I hope you're not criticizing Ellie. Her son is a year and a half old. Even if her miscarriage was several months ago, that would have been a perfectly healthy gap between pregnancies.

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  32. My prayers are with you tonight Ellie. I am so sorry for your loss. God be with all 3 of you.

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  33. I can't imagine what she went through. It was hard to read comments bashing her and saying "it was just like a late period." I suffered a late 13 weeks miscarriage last year. It was hard, but I got to hold my little son, and see his sweet face. I hurt for her, and the fact she never got to hold or see if it was a boy or girl. Any stage of miscarriage is the worst path you can ever be asked to walk. I'm sorry you had to walk this difficult path, Ellie. Take time to grieve with hope. You will see your baby again.

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  34. I am sorry for your loss. You said this very well.

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  35. God will deal with those people who have said "Get over it". He will put them in a situation where they'll be facing something that they can't get over either. I seen this happen before. They will be put through a test where it will open their eyes and repent what they said about Lauren and hurt those who have also miscarried.

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    1. How sad that you believe God is so vindictive.

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    2. If you believe God is vindictive....than I guess there is something coming for you for wishing vindication on others?

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    3. Have you read the Bible? God is incredibly vindictive.

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    4. I don't think God is at all vindictive, but you seem to be. Sad. When I was in the hospital I was in a room with a woman that had similar views. She was still carrying a grudge over something that had happened many years ago because the people she thought had "done wrong" hadn't been "punished" by God.

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    5. 12:26, there’s a big difference between being vindictive and carrying out justice.

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    6. God is the Judge of the whole earth. When you do something wrong in any way, you are ultimately sinning against Him.

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  36. Thanks for sharing and I‘m so sorry!

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  37. I'm so sorry for your lost. Prayer's and condolences. It's so hard when you lose someone especially your baby. Each person grieves in there own way. My Mom lost 2 babies. It's very sad and hard to handle as only God knows why. Natasha B.

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  38. I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy even when we know they are with our Lord and we can see them again someday. I too lost my second child at 16 weeks gestation. I had to have surgery and it was not something I ever expected I would go through. It does get easier over time, but I feel like the day I found out we lost her, the day I had my surgery, and her due date will always be reminders of what could have been had she been born. But at the same time it is a great testament of my faith to share with those that may not understand my faith and I now have this opportunity to share to them.

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  39. I am so sorry for your loss Ellie, I don’t know that it is easier because people have children it’s just different, I had 2 losses before each of my children and they were easier in a sense that we did have our first rainbow baby but harder in a sense because you know what a healthy pregnancy is like, My prayers are with you and your family đŸ™đŸ»

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  40. I am so sorry for your loss, Ellie.

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  41. I'm sorry for your loss Ellie. Sending you hugs and prayers.
    Alayna

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  42. I'm sorry for your loss, Ellie. I think people were upset with Lauren because she kept talking about her miscarriage on joys post. I understand she was trying to comfort Joy but the loss of Annabelle was about Annabelle not Laurens miscarriage.

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  43. I am so sorry to hear of yours loss Ellie! Everyone handles grief differently, and I believe Lauren handled it in her own way. Unfortunately her grief was very public due to the nature of “counting on”. I think that to most viewers, Lauren seemed extremely depressed and there was a lot of concern for her. I applaud her for being so open and vulnerable to the viewers, as many women can relate to her situation. I personally believe that tlc intentionally made everything more dramatic and that Lauren was over theatrical for the cameras. Tlc should be ashamed at marketing the Duggar’s grief this way. Not only for the miscarriage but for grandma Duggar’s funeral was well

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  44. Do the Duggar wives ever get prenatal counseling from a doctor? Or do they go straight from the wedding altar to "trying" and "leaving it in God's hands"? Lauren was so young, it's no surprise that she had a miss start. Most girls' bodies have barely had time to get their hormones straight by that age. Seems that if you know you're going to be starting a family right away, you'd get prenatal counseling or care before marriage - get checked - get on vitamins - all that. Do they just try to get pregnant and hope all goes well? Miscarriages are so common.

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    1. I have never even heard of such a thing. Sounds a bit excessive.

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    2. You're right, miscarriages are very common, and no prenatal counseling is going to ensure a miscarriage won't happen.

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    3. From what Lauren said she has issues with progesterone levels in early pregnancy.....this can cause miscarriage. In the future she would be wise to work with her doctor before getting pregnant again to appropriate treatment.

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    4. Anonymous @8:55- While some miscarriages aren't preventable, prenatal counseling is a very smart idea. Your Ob-Gyn can sometimes discover issues that may contribute to or predispose you to miscarriages (like anemia, hyperthyroidism, family history of ectopic pregnancies/ovarian cysts/pregnancy-related health issues, etc.) that you may be unaware of or that you/your family has not connected the dots and established a pattern. Prenatal counseling is always a good plan as far as beginning pre-natal vitamins at least a month prior to your wedding, in the event you and your spouse don't intent to use birth control or your birth control fails, resulting in a pregnancy. Your baby will have been given the best possible start.

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    5. Good question. They haven't given us any info about pregnancy planning and doctor visits. All we've seen are visits to those boutique ultrasounds and of course Jill with her old heart beat monitor while the patient is on the sofa. Even if it didn't prevent a miscarriage, seeing a doctor is a good idea if you're planning to start a family, a big one in particular.

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    6. In my experience, prenatal counselling is something that older women are encouraged to have, as the risks for genetic and fetal abnormalities, such as Down's Syndrome, increase with the age of the mother. I believe Michelle Duggar saw a specialist a few years after Josie was born, as they wanted to know if she was able to have a healthy pregnancy should she conceive. The doctor was very straight-forward about the poor chances of her conceiving at her age and that if she did, the risks involved.

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  45. Ellie, I'm so very sorry you lost your little one. I had 3 miscarriages, but also 3 pregnancies that were ok. Each miscarriage caused me total anguish, but, like you, I had my other children to comfort me. We never forget these babies we lost, but we will see them again someday in Heaven. Just know that many of us have suffered this kind of devastating loss. Sending you a big cyberhug...

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  46. Wish I could hug you! I experienced 2 miscarriages and it's so hard to describe the shock and pain. May Jesus bring you comfort in this difficult season 💕

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  47. Sorry for your loss, Ellie. Never been through it, but as more and more people talk about it, and as the stigma wears down, I realise that it's something that happens to a lot of people. As sad as it is, it's just a concrete possibility, and usually it has nothing to do with what you did or didn't do. I hope that's of some comfort.

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  48. So sorry for your loss Ellie. Lauren and Josiah please accept our sympathy, You all we be in our thoughts and prayers.
    Joan,Marion and Marilyn

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  49. Thank for sharing this...miscarriage is the loss of a real living baby and the mother's pain is made greater by the hormonal upheaval that accompanies a miscarriage. So many people are not able to identify with the pain and suffering of others.

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  50. I’m sorry to hear of your loss. You are brave to share it! So many women experience miscarriages, and we need to mourn with those who mourn and share the burden of grief. Praying for God’s peace for you during this time.

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  51. I went through it at 15 weeks and seen that my baby even had fingernails. I thought how is this a “miscarriage “?? I lost a baby!!! And it’s ok to grieve that loss!

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  52. Lauren probably still grieves the loss of her baby. Moms bond with the baby much earlier than dads and other family members, so it takes a little while to "get over it." I went into premature labor at 19 weeks while carrying twins and it was devastating. It has been 23 years and I still think of what could have been. Having another baby after the loss did help a little. Ellie, I'm sorry for your loss and I pray that you are comforted by God's love. I also pray that those closest to you will understand when you have your sad moments.

    Mom of three

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  53. That's because nasty comments aren't removed quicker. If you need help, perhaps you should allocate a couple of people to also delete the nasty comments because I'm sure hundreds of us would happily.

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  54. I can't imagine the grief a parent feels after the loss of a baby and I am horrified people take it upon themselves to be so nasty. Lauren needs to ignore nasty people. God knows I have ignored one nasty action she has committed to myself. Too many trolls are a problem on the internet too.

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  55. Sorry for your loss. In my prayers. x

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    1. Unknown, unrelated to your comment, but do you make quilts by any chance?

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  56. Life is precious, but if God allows for this then it seems there is necessary to accept an all loving God is knowing.
    Joy is not about circumstances but faith.

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  57. I know from experience how devestating miscarriage can be and I throougly empathize with any woman going through it. There's certainly no right or wrong way to grieve and sorrow is a natural emotion we should not hide or dismiss. Somehow, the TLC repetitive focus on Lauren's experience started to come across as disingenuous. I don't think anyone's grief should be exploited for a TV show and ratings.

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    1. I agree with you. I think Lauren is being exploited for ratings by TLC. I don't think she realizes how she's being used which is really sad.

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  58. Every women on the planet is different. Every pregnancy is different. Each women experiences their miscarriage or a stillbirth differently then others. I think it helped Lauren having being married in a large family. She can discuss things with Michelle and Anna. Now that we know that Jinger and Joy have had miscarriages, hopefully they leaned on each other, or with everyone that has experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. We still don't know if Jill had experienced one, as they haven't announced any additions since Samuel.

    Ellie, so sorry for your loss. Prayers are with you and your family.

    - Leann

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    1. Jill and Derrick have said that they believe in contraception.

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    2. Believing in it and using it are 2 different things.

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  59. I respect and admire Joy for how she has handled her miscarriage publically. She seems to have matured so much after getting married quite young and then pregnant right away. I am not minimizing Lauren's pain, however, she was too young and inexperienced at life to cope very well. I think she will realize this as she gains more life experience and goes through more tough times.

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  60. I feel, really bad, for Lauren. It must be really disappointing, to be raised in a culture, where the most important thing, for a woman to do, is to get married, and have children. To then discover, that you have a fertility condition, that makes it difficult, to sustain a pregnancy, would be heart-breaking. I hope that like Michael Bates, Lauren, is being encouraged, to pursue other ways, of bringing some joy, to her life.

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    1. You make it sound as though Lauren is childless. She had a baby last year.

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    2. What fertility condition? The one that led to getting pregnant with Bella?

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    3. I don't think you have to be raised in a specific culture in order to have strong feelings about wanting to be a mother. Some women do, others do not. I would agree that there's added pressure in the Duggar family, when the women are not encourged to do anything else but be a wife, mother and homemaker. BTW, Lauren is a mother. It's not unusual to suffer a miscarriage and then go on to have successful pregnancies.

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    4. I think what they are saying is that for Lauren not being able to have a child her whole purpose in life would not be fulfilled.

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    5. @1:23 then she would need to find a new purpose....many women and men are unable to conceive, their lives aren't over.....it's about reframing after grieving your dreams.

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    6. 3:25, she doesn’t have a fertility condition? She easily got pregnant again and went on to have a healthy baby so more likely than not her first baby had genetic issues and was incompatible with life. That’s very common

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    7. So what happens if a girl is raised in a culture where the most important thing is to pursue a career, and then cannot obtain that due to the job market, economy, health problems , lack of education, etc? Would that not be disappointing and heartbreaking too? Maybe we should encourage one another to follow the path we each want to take versus putting down one path over another.

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  61. Ellie, I am so sorry for your loss.
    Take care !

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  62. Lauren is very very young and everyone grieves differently. I was hardly an adult at 19. I could have never handled anything like this privately let alone publicly.

    My only issue is her comparison to Joy. What Joy went through looks excruciating. Labor is awful but the crying baby in your arms is 1000% worth it. Ending that process without a baby sounds heartbreaking and paralyzing.

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  63. The Duggars believe that everything is up to God. So this is his plan and choice.

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  64. As women, we are at the mercy of fluctuating hormones that contribute to our reactions of things. Post-partum depression is just one example. The same thing may happen after miscarriage. It can accompany the overwhelming sorrow that comes with such loss. We need to be more understanding of each other and our individual journeys through grief. That said, I am not a fan of using the Duggar's grief as a way to generate viewers for a TV show. It cheapens it, IMO.

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  65. So sorry for your loss Ellie. May you continue to heal.

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  66. My friend had a miscarriage at 18. She was happy about it, and so were her friends. It automatically solved a bunch of problems. Not all pregnancies are planned. Not all miscarriages are something to mourn.

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    1. Yes, sometimes spontaneous abortions happen all by themselves like that, especially to young women pregnant for the first time. It can solve a situation.

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  67. I am so sorry for your loss. In my prayers.

    People can be so mean. No one has a right to tell someone how to grieve.

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  68. Hugs...to you, Ellie...I’m so sorry you had to experience a tragedy. May God hold you in His arms in this time of grief.

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  69. Everyone grieves in their own way, and no one has the right to tell you how or how long you should grieve. It’s been 23 years since my first miscarriage, and I still cry about it sometimes. It’s a pain that never leaves; just changes.

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  70. So very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, Ellie. Prayers going up for you and Mr. Handsome.

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  71. For everyone saying that Lauren didn't get over her miscarriage quickly enough...Well I have a lot to say to that but none of it is polite, so I will just say this; I believe Lauren was 19 or 20 when that happened to her. Try to put yourself in her shoes, imagine going through something so tramautic, at that age, going from being a newlywed to losing a child just a few months into your marriage... And then don't say anything because you know you can never understand. And hope you never have to.

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  72. so sorry to hear :( I had a miscarriage a few years ago when my son was 4. I was really upset because I had a rough delivery with my son.

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  73. Ellie, I am so sorry for your lost

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