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Friday, June 3, 2016

Find Israel's Great-Grandma

 Jill and Derick Dillard with Derick's mom, Cathy, and Cathy's adoptive mom

Those who are dedicated viewers of the Duggars' show have probably heard Derick Dillard mention that his mother, Cathy Dillard Byrum, was adopted. That is one of the reasons why Jill and Derick are hoping to adopt kids of their own. You may also remember Cathy mentioning around the time of Israel's birth that he is her third known blood relative. (The other two are Derick and his brother Dan.)

The Dillards are on the lookout for another one of Cathy's blood relatives, her birth mom. Her name is Joyce Perry, and she was born on December 9, 1925, and has lived in Texas, Oklahoma, and Pennsylvania. Israel Dillard has met his great-grandma Duggar, and Jill and Derick are hoping to have him meet another "great."

With help from others, the Dillards have located the gravestone of a Joyce Perry who passed away in November 1992, and they are currently looking into the possibility of that being the same Joyce Perry who is Cathy's birth mom. Regardless, the Dillards say they would like to know more about Cathy's birth family.

Cathy's adoptive mom, Grandma Vergie, passed away in November 2014 (see picture above).

Photo courtesy dillardfamily.com

27 comments:

  1. hope you find her i think she my live in smithfild, ut

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  2. Have you thought of doing a family tree on this Joyce Perry that you found the gravestone of? Does it have her birth date on it? See if she lived in the same part of the country that Derick's Mom was born in and adopted in. That will help I am sure of.

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  3. Israel won't know, at this age, who he meets. So you have to wonder what the real reason is. Unless there's some medical need to find out about biological parents, it's probably best to let the past remain in the past. By 1992, if that is Cathy's mom, there were ways of finding the child you gave up for adoption, or finding your birth mother. Yet nobody did that, either way. Finding her now, "so Israel can meet her" is very odd. Yes, you can look into that public grave record for genealogy reasons. But contact? No, not now, not because some 1 yr. old "wants to meet" a relative.

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  4. You should just call her Mom. Not adopted-mom. A Mom is the one who raised you, cared for you daily, and loved you. Having the same blood/DNA doesn't matter. We are all God's children.

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    1. Amen! My husband and I adopted and are raising four children. I am their mom, period. We refer to the person who gave birth to them as birth mom. If someone called me adoptive mom, I would be highly offended. Three of my children have the same birth mom, and I write her a letter every year. If she comes to our town, I'll take my kids to visit her. My other son sees his birth mom every few months.

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    2. I agree. That is very disrespectful.

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    3. Yes, please keep it "birth mom" and then just "mom" My husband and I have adopted 5 children. They call us "mom" and "dad" and that is how they refer to us when speaking to others as well. Every now and then, they will speak about their "birth family", but most were so young when they came to us, they don't have memories. We are their parents, and I would much rather be called just "mom".

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  5. Does CATHY want to know more about Cathy's birth family? If so, why not before now? Why now? I hope Jill & Derick aren't turning up stones they should be leaving alone. This kind of venture can be full of pitfalls for everyone involved.

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    1. Why did you assume she just started searching now?

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  6. Okay.....this is strange. Maybe Cathy's birth mother didn't want to be known.

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  7. Big nope. This is none of the reader's business.

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  8. Wow you would never know it Derrick's Mom and Grandma look like mother and Daughter. I've often heard that kids grow up and look like the adoptive parent. Derrick god gave you a beautiful mom and grandma.

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  9. Hmm. sounds like someone is trying for a crossover show with Lost Family. Israel couldn't care less so why is he being used as the reason for the search?

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  10. Why in the world would you make this public?? If you want to search, hire someone or do it privately! It's not like the rest of us have access to secret files that aren't already out there online. You're begging for opinions, most of which will be against you, Jill. So here's one: It's a bad idea!

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    1. It isn't unusual for people to use social media to find birth families. Jill just happens to be famous.

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    2. all known adoptees have a right to seek as to whom is their birth parents as well those for what ever reasons may choose or was threatened into giving up their newborns.

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    3. The parents decided it was better for everyone to give the baby for adoption. Their decision should be respected.

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  11. I was under the impression that Cathy had already reached out to her birth mother years ago and it hadn't gone well?

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  12. I have to agree with everyone else that's made a comment - it's not a good idea to pull the public in for a search for a biological mother who, if she's still living, is 91 years old. It should have been done years ago if it was really something that Cathy wanted and needed to know. In fact, she should be the only reason why a search should have been done, not a 1 year old child. I come from a similar situation. I never knew my biological father. I was fortunate to be raised by my mother who loved me deeply so I felt no lack. And although I didn't know until I was an adult that the father I was raised by wasn't my biological father, at that point, I wasn't sure if it would serve any real purpose to search for him. My mother passed away when she was 49 and shortly after that, my stepfather cut me off. That's when I found out about my biological father and at that point, I felt like I just needed to heal from the loss of my mother. As the years passed, I never searched for my father even though my sister said that I should. The point is the only reason why a search should be done is only for Cathy and not her grandchild. And to make this search asking for the public to help through social media is completely inappropriate and in poor taste. The search should be a private matter.

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    1. I agree with you. Leave it along.

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  13. Aww. I hope you guys find her.

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  14. Maybe the birth family doesn't know that her bio mother had a child? Maybe she doesn't want to be found? Maybe the father doesn't want to be found? Maybe, even if she and the father are living, and DO want to know, they don't want to do it publicly? Do you have any idea how much pressure that adds to a situation like this?? Please think before you make these assumptions - adoption is a complicated situation, and sometimes adoptions are closed, by request of the mother, for a reason!

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  15. This is such a private and sensitive matter. I think out of respect for Cathy's mom this should not be posted. We do not know the circumstances behind the adoption.

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  16. This is a private matter and should be kept that way.I would suggest ancestry.com or look up state adoption records via the Internet.It is not up to the public to help,nor is it appropriate.Good Luck.

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  17. Hope you find her! Blessings!

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  18. try ancestry.com with the DNA test

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