Sunday, January 6, 2013

Michelle Duggar: Being a "Safe Place" For Our Kids

When it comes to raising adolescents, Michelle Duggar says that communication between children and parents is vital. She discusses the subject in her latest TLC Parentables post.

As parents, Jim Bob and I try to take the time to really open the lines of communication and let [our kids] know about the big changes they can expect. 

Michelle recognizes that each of her nineteen children have different strengths, weaknesses, needs, and desires. Some share their hearts willingly, while others are more hesitant to open up.

Pulling out the kids that don’t talk as much is really important, giving them that time and that space. Then if they share, giving them the time to talk and just listen. 
In addition to being attentive listeners, Michelle adds that parents should continually look for ways to build their kids up with words of encouragement and remind them that the changes they are experiencing are normal.

They’ll get through this difficult season of life and come out on the other end a solid, balanced adult.


  1. How any child can be an individual while growing up in a dormitory is beyond my comprehension. And the Duggars grow up in a dormitory from the time they are weaned until they leave home.

    1. Thats because thats the way the kids want it ( if you bothered to watch the programme properly ! )

  2. I completely agree with Anonymous@3:08 A.M.

  3. The Duggars are doing something right. Well, many things, actually. I see many children in my classroom who aren't growing up with many (or any) siblings, and they are raised very poorly. Kudos and blessings to you, Duggars. You inspire us to cherish our families, live godly lives, and pray for our babes as they become productive, contributing, God-honoring citizens. We love watching. :)

  4. I think it's great advice for all to hear..I'm really winging this parenting thing and I look forward to her advice..sometimes I don't agree with it and when I don't I just do what feels one at all is perfect. I think it's lovely how much she loves her children. And want to always talk to them.this world is field with youngsters who go the wrong way because of lack of parenting...great advice!

  5. Thanks for the update. Love how Michelle and Jim Bob make a point that "one size" does not fit all, and they make a point of creating a safe place for each child.

    It kind of matches up the the love languages idea.

    The 5 Love Languages

    I respect the Duggars for taking the effort to understand how their children operate and meeting them where they are at... a lot of parents struggle with this bit.

  6. Love this family! Such a good role model as a parent and wife

  7. With so many children it must be difficult to give them as much attention as a smaller family. I have noticed that the older children help a lot with childcare in the Duggar home - it is true that kids learn from each other and I think this is often how big families cope. But also kids need attention from the parents when they need it. I am NOT a religious person - but recognise love as a religion. There is so much love in the Duggar home. All you need is love.....

  8. I agree with some of the JimBob and Michelle's parenting skills; i.e., Family Bible time, soft voices, jurisdictions. However, older children "parenting" younger ones constantly, many multi aged children sharing a bedroom, always requiring a chaperone to go anywhere (trust issue?) and not allowing your child to go to college...I disagree with JimBob and Michelle. So, I'm not sure why Michelle makes a point of having a "safe" place for her children to communicate, when it seems anywhere, anytime she or JimBob were around is safe. And what issues do these kids, who are living in a very controlled atmosphere need a safe place to share. Unless, the discussion is a challenge from one of the children
    about concerning what they aren't allowed to do.

  9. Thank you for the godly advice, Michelle! It is so important. I will be remembering for my future family.


  10. Erin Bates is courting! It was just posted on the Bateses' blog yesterday.

  11. they are a nice family but let the older one have a real life.

  12. I think the older Dugger children do have a life,they mix with other families,are now getting to see the world and choose careers of there choice.Trust is not why they are chaperoned it is to make sure that the erges that young people with a sudden influx of hormones don't take over!As for living in dormatories a bedroom is for sleeping,they have a playroom,outside space lounge etc,the older kids are brought up not to be selfish so they help with the little ones but also have time to study,see the world and all sorts of other activities.They all look happy to me so welldone to them!

  13. All the Duggers look happy to m so thy must be getting it right surely?!

  14. Can I add a comment about the "group bedroom"?
    My sister and I grew up sharing a room. We whispered late into the night. We played games and became best friends...when we were younger. As we grew older I begged and begged for my own room. We drew lines down the floor, we hung sheets from the walls...anything that we could think of to separate us.
    My family finally bought a house that allowed each child to have his/her own room...a 3-level home in a nice neighborhood.
    The day we moved in was the day my family started to fall apart. My sister grew apart...far apart. I can honestly not remember a single dinner with my family in that house. Not a single one. :(
    Our house was so big that we could all go our different ways and not interact with anyone else from our family. We failed to learn how to get along during our teenage years, and as a result, our family suffered greatly.
    My parents divorced.
    My youngest sister had a baby out of wedlock and my oldest brother was in and out of prison.
    After many years of struggle, my sister and I are finally best friends again. 3 of the 5 kids are living peaceful successful lives.
    I firmly believe that because my sister and I shared a room for so long and grew so close during that time, we can now be the friends that we are. We formed a bond and a foundation during that time that I would never trade.
    I'm so glad that the Duggar children can form those same bonds and I wish them the best.

  15. @Anonymous

    yeah me too.i hope they can respect each other.


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